Ranty McRanterson

This is your warning. This entire post is a rant. Every single sentence. You have the option to close your browser now. Don't say you weren't warned. ;)

I must say, It's taken longer than normal for me to get irritated with a roommate this go round. It probably has something to do with the fact that I live with a very mild-mannered guy from California. Or it could be that I've gotten older and just don't give a shit anymore.

Well, now I have some complaints... and I'm not quite sure how to go about addressing them. I thought I was doing a good job of it, but clearly I'm not.

It seems as though all of my complaints are food-centered. The guy has never lived with a roommate before, always with his parents, so I have to give him a break.

About a month or so ago, I was going to make a cake. I reached into the fridge to see that my eggs were completely gone. I don't really eat eggs, or use milk, so it's rare that I buy them. I politely explained that I didn't care if he used SOME of my eggs if he didn't have any... but that I usually need three for baking. Simple enough, right?

I've started noticing all of the other things he uses. First, it's not really that big of a deal - but he never replaces it. I buy certain quality ingredients (and don't go the el-cheapo route with some things) for a reason.

Spices. He uses them. Daily. (never seen a guy cook so much)
Eggs. (We'll get to this in a minute)
Bread.
Butter.
EVOO. (expensive as shit... and he 'over pours')
Garlic.
CHEEEEESE. (I buy the 2% slices... and he replaces with the 100% fat kind. SO annoying)
Pickles.
Soap.
Trash Bags.

He has eaten my leftovers. (gross, btw) AND made "spaghetti" with a whole box of my noodles and my sauce. Like I'm going to eat a WHOLE box of pasta?!

Anyway, so what really pushed my button is the other morning I wanted some eggs for breakfast. I usually don't eat eggs in the am, but wild hair. I reach into the fridge to pull out the 12 eggs I JUST BOUGHT a few days before.

Three. Eggs. Left.

Are you effin' kidding me?! I guess he took what I said literally, or did it just to spite me - but this has GOT to stop, dude. It'd be different if we "shared" things that he buys, but clearly he doesn't buy much. When it's my turn to buy paper towels... I buy 8 rolls. His turn, 2 rolls of the cheap shit that crumbles. Now how is that fair?

The other source of frustration from him is the 3rd roommate. His "girlfriend" stays here 6 out of 7 nights a week. Not okay. In fact, he claims that they haven't had "the talk" yet about making it official, so it's okay for him to sit at home all day and scour the internet dating sites for hot girls - talk to them (INCLUDING my friends) - and take them on dates.

Not only am I footing the bill for her water usage, but they watch their TV shows every night - and it's whoever is watching first rule. Sometimes I just want to sit on my couches and watch my TV.

Oh, and when I DO get to watch a movie or whatever on TV... they come in very loud while he cooks dinner for her (nightly) and talk in the kitchen that's connected to the living area.

I just can't win.

So what do I do, you ask? I leave my shit everywhere. So spiteful. :)