10 [Random] Things...

Oh what a day.

1. Last night, I lay awake until the weeeee hours of the morning. 4am in particular. I have SO many thoughts swirling in my head... to do's, to call's, more to do's, what-if's, you know, the usual. So my sleep pattern has been ridiculously flip-flopped and I can't seem to get a handle on it. For instance, I slept until 1 pm this afternoon. Yep. 1 pm. Fuck.

2. Once I got up, I got my things together and headed to the dealership. My car has been making this lovely screeching noise when it starts and it doesn't sound that great. Did I mention that my car hates Texas? Cause it does.

My Honda only has 60K on it, so these things shouldn't be happening, but thank God for the mysterious 100K PLATINUM extended warranty that happened to fall in my lap. Who knew you could get such a steal of a car without knowing it. I now have a rental car (paid by the warranty) and my car will be fixed without me shelling out a dime. This, my friends, is a blessing.

3. I barely made it to the drug test place today. It's Tuesday - and if I want to start this jobbie-job on Monday, I need that test to come back THIS WEEK. Normally, a 48 hour return time, but since it was so late in the day, it's gonna be 72 for me. Hopefully everything is done and I can start on Monday. Cross your fingers.

4. My lady friend who is supposed to be in town every single month has been quite a bitch lately. She didn't show up in November, stayed for two weeks in December, and just showed up for January. I don't know what she's doing, but I'm not happy about it. Bitch.

5. I started the "Fat Smash Diet" yesterday. It's actually NOT one of those "fad" diets where you starve yourself of essential nutrients - it's almost like being a vegan for a week, working out, and then slowly adding small portions of food back into your diet. It sucks. And I cheated today and had a tortilla. And I haven't made it to the gym yet. But, I really want to do it - just to say that I did.

6. My list of to-do's just keeps getting longer and longer and longer. And my will to take care of these things just keeps getting shorter and shorter and shorter. :)

7. I read Little Bitty Lies last week and I'm reading Savannah Breeze this week. Both really good books that I would recommend.

8. I'm working on some stuff for pre-research to my start at the new company. I'm going to have to find some clever name to call it on the blog, of course, for anonymity. First order of business.... a new website. ASAP, as he says.

9. I called the last pub I applied to today and asked where he was at in the process... he said to come in on Friday at 3 to interview. Hopefully I'll get that job and we'll be good to go. :) I'm ready to start making some money!!

10. Oh, I most certainly saved the best for last. This weekend, I went to see some friends at a random bar in the city. As I was there (a real eclectic place, might I add) there were two girls and a guy. The two girls were wearing exactly the same sleazy dress. Barely covered their ta-ta's and only halfway covered their undies, if there were any undies. One was sans shoes and the other had on hooker heels. As I watched them walk around, mostly looking a bit schwasted-face, I carried on the conversation with my friends.

All of a sudden I saw the one sans shoes come back by with a strip of toilet paper hanging from her rear.

Yes ma'am. Hanging from her buttocks.

The toilet paper was at least half a foot long, maybe longer. Perhaps her bitch had come to town this particular night as well and she was unprepared? Or maybe she was wiping and her thighs just stuck together (they were quite large) and held on to the paper? Or she could have just been trying to get the same attention she was getting wearing that dress? Who knows... but EVERYONE in the place was staring.

Normally, if said paper were stuck to the bottom of some girl's shoe (no matter how sleazy the shoe/outfit) I would make an effort to be a good person and help her out with the situation. But how awkward would THAT conversation be!?

Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to take a picture on the sly. So it'll have to just stay in my memory.

I'm bad, aren't I? Haha. It was hilarious though, you've gotta give me that!