UN-Resolutions

Every year, this time of year, I get really optimistic. "This year's gonna be the year for..." fill in the blank with everything from losing weight to staying organized and working out. I think about many resolutions and things that I'd like to accomplish. Usually, only after a few weeks in, I'm distracted by something - or never even sat down to think about realistic plans for the year to start with.

These past few days have started off on a ridiculous foot. I sleep the days away, my place feels like a cluttered disaster, and I am stressed about numerous things. I want to believe these jobs I have lined up are sure things. I want to think that everything is going to be hunky-dory in 2010, but my hope is fading at the moment.

The girl I sublet my apartment to in Atlanta for three months has yet to pay any rent or utilities for the month of December. That means, in addition to all the bills I have here (and my lack of income at the moment) she owes me over $1000. Perfect timing on her part.

And I was supposed to start at the pub sometime this week, but it didn't happen. The manager/owner got super busy and I was pushed to the wayside. That was supposed to be my support while waiting for these two part time positions in marketing to pan out.

I've been trying to be optimistic and not so much of a debbie downer, but it sucks even talking to people I know (who, it's obvious, care about me) because the first question out of their mouth is "So, how's the job hunt going". I would rather avoid the subject, because I know something fabulous will come along... I just need to wait for it. I'm putting forth a TON of effort, it's all about the timing.

I'm afraid of letting people know what things I have going on because if they fall through, I'm sure I have to report all of THAT, too. Oy. Such a frustrating cycle.

Anyway, so today and yesterday have been weird days. I've slept until noon or so (which is a horrible habit to start getting in to) and not accomplished much. I hung out with Michael last night because he's in town. We watched Inglourious Basterds (interesting movie, definitely a Quinten Tarantino flick). Today I scrubbed my bathroom, cleaned my closet, watched Desperate Housewives and Being Erica, started a new book, and made dinner.

To top it all off, I was making potatoes when a martini glass from the top of the fridge slid off and shattered on the counter. Because potatoes hide things like little shards of glass, I decided I wasn't going to chance it. Half of my dinner, down the drain.

I suppose anyone would LOVE a week (or two) off to accomplish things... but under these circumstances, I find it very frustrating and the opposite of relaxing.

All this mumbo jumbo just to say that I'm not really sure what 2010 holds for me. I'm not going to "resolute" to anything in particular, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for good things to happen. I'm going to try out a new church tomorrow am, so hopefully that'll be one good thing to come from this blah week. Or perhaps Monday holds great secrets for me - a solid something for the future.

*sigh* I sure hope so...

Here's a good song I recently stumbled on. Might be worth checkin' out.