And the verdict is...

... not guilty.

I'm not sure how, in the United States, you can kill someone with your vehicle and walk away. Walk away without a scratch, without a fine, without a punishment, without an apology.

I have lost faith in the judicial system. Completely.

A day of truths

It's always been hard... but today was the hardest of them all. Today was the day light was shed on the truth. The truth that, through some form, had been manipulated by the time it got to me. I was told "he was speeding... going way too fast. That's why she didn't see him," I was also told "He didn't know what hit him... there weren't any skid marks."

Today, those truths revealed left me in a bed of tears. There WERE skid marks... 17 feet and 11 inches of them. He DID realize what was about to happen. Albeit, it was instantaneous death (or so I was told) he drew his last few breaths in fear of what was about to occur.

As I'd previously placed some of the blame on his actions - speeding on a road with a posted sign of 35 mph - I can no longer make that judgment. Forensics and evidence grant him a top speed of 40 mph with impact at a range of 30 mph or so.

I'm angry. I'm saddened. I'm helpless right now. It's a hurt like no other, and it's torturous.

I wasn't summoned by the court today. I wasn't forced into the self mutilation of hearing the testimonies of two handfuls of witnesses and their recollection of the events that day. Something told me I had to go. I had to be there for my aunt. I had to be there to find out the truth. The factual truth. And what happened that day.

I wish no harm to the person who did this. I actually wish her well. Certainly, she'll take this guilt with her for the rest of her life, but beyond that. Beyond the teary eyes and sobbing testimony, she has to feel some remorse. Enough to apologize to the people she took him from. That's all I ask. And she hasn't yet.

The comical thing of it all... the last time I saw him was at my Halloween Party the weekend before the accident. Every time this case has been brought before the court, it's been the week of Halloween. We should hear the verdict. Tomorrow, October 31. On Halloween.

[to read the full story, click here]

One Proud Fan

He did it. Today, Armin Van Buuren beat Tiesto for number 1 dj in the world. Pretty impressive, I might say. Oh yes.

I have met him, hung out with him all night even... in his DJ booth while he spun incredible beats as well as when the night was over. He was hilarious, and since the movie, Borat, was relatively new, we quoted lines all night. Quite fun, if you ask me.

I am absolutely in love with his State of Trance series that releases annually. Obviously, I like his other works, too, but there's just something about each ASOT that is more captivating than the one before it.

Pure bliss.

Observations in the park

As a normal routine, I go rollerblading in my park. It's the way I exercise - it's interesting, I have pink, grey, and black skates, and get to listen to my iPod.

I always go to the same park at around the same time of night (just before dusk - it's cooler then) but the scenery always changes. It's a great people-watching place.

My observations this week:
- There are overwhelming groups of young african american people. They walk stretched out across the roadway, extremely slowly, and don't move so other people can pass. This poses a huge problem [especially for me] because I can't always stop rollerblades as easily as they could move aside. At least they're not other places causing trouble.
- There are some people who smoke while they're taking a stroll in the park. This always baffles me because you can tell they're making an effort to be healthier by just being there - you'd think they'd try to quit smoking too?
- Extremely obese people walking. I haven't seen that much effort from an overweight crowd in, well, forever. Kudos to them.
- There was a group of people handing out chocolate ice cream bars. Another oxymoron perhaps?
- A wedding was taking place on one of the lawns. They hired a full band (we're talking flutes, clarinets, tubas, etc full band) to play. I thought it was quite cute and they obviously wanted their guests to have a good time.
- Two guys smoking pot. Yes, pot. In an open park where, at any time, a police officer could arrest them. Interesting. Complete disrespect. And, of course, it's unavoidable if you can't pass them.

This park is pretty much the only one in the area that's big enough to make my rounds - and also has clear roadways. Tons of debris in the way = a disasterous rollerblading experience.

Some of these things, I'm aggitated by, and others are just observations. It'd be nice if there was a mutual respect. But there's not. So I guess I'll just continue my people watching and keep my opinions to myself!

10 reasons I love my city

1. I know where everything is. I've lived in the outskirts almost my entire life - and moved "ITP" (inside the perimeter) after graduating high school.
2. My family lives near. It's nice to be able to see anyone whenever I want. My brother actually only lives about 3 miles away. Crazy!
3. I love love love city life. Everything stays open late, you get a taste of any kind of food you want, and tons of nightlife. (can you tell I'm a night person?)
4. I can maneuver my way around traffic (sometimes) and know what time to avoid certain places.
5. I know where to go to get the good deals on whatever I need.
6. My school, job, and friends are all here.
7. It takes 30 minutes to be in a remote area if I need to get away.
8. All of my favorite Dance/Trance DJ's come here...
9. We really get a good taste of all seasons, but it never gets too cold (like snow) and that makes me EXTREMELY happy.
10. A 4-6 hour drive from many many beaches (makes for easy beach weekend trips!)

Is there something in the water?

There must be. Yesterday was hell for a lot of relationships around me. Including my own.

Mo's relationship took a huge turn yesterday, so did Ryan's, and so did mine. Over the last two weeks, I've had two high school friends engaged, one have a baby, one find out she's pregnant, and I'm sure there's a whole lot more I didn't hear about.

Perhaps there's something in the water that I don't know about?

Mo and Ryan's relationships are extremely volatile. They're both married. One is playing it smart until it's safe for his kids and himself to get out (and run far far away, as he puts it). And the other is stuck - she just found out she's pregnant.

Thank God this stuff doesn't happen to me - that it only happens to those around me.

Words that inspire dieting

Today has been quite rough. I have been absolutely slammed at work with requests from every different angle and can't keep up. Last night, I decided to get a new whiteboard for my cubicle so I didn't have to have as many sticky notes (brilliant idea, by the way).

I get to work this morning and figure out I don't have the proper 'hanging materials' to put this thing up. It required a trip to the hardware store. I ran by there just before lunch and got a fix for it and decided I'd go across the street to Panera to grab soup and a salad.

Four or Five years ago, I worked at this specific Panera for six months or so. It was one of those "in between" jobs but I knew everyone there and was friends with some of them.

Back to the situation at hand. I order my soup and salad and wait for it at the other end. Thus far, I hadn't seen anyone I knew while I worked there. You have to give your name when you order so they can call it for pickup.

"ERIKA!"

It was ready. She looked at me and smiled and said "oh HEY!! How are you??" It was a large black lady who'd worked there when I worked there - and was still there. I told her I worked down the street, etc. And then... the next words out of her mouth...

"Wow. You've put on some weight."

I had to ask her to repeat herself because I thought I didn't quite hear her right.

"Wow. You've put on some weight," she repeated.

Did she really just say that to me?? I was too stunned to come back with anything intelligent like "well, what's 20 lbs when you're already 250?" or "wow. you've gotten old." - Or it could have been that I'm just not that mean.

My response. "oh, thanks. Have a good day" - and bolted out the door.

Those words were good enough to inspire a new diet. I was just looking at the professional headshot I had taken for work a few days ago and thinking I should watch what I eat a little more carefully. This just confirms it.

Diet, here I come.

10 (minus 2) things that didn't have a chance of going right this weekend

1. Lost luggage
2. Flight was extremely messed up
3. HUGE fight with Sam
4. Saffie tore up the blinds in my kitchen (for the second time). This time they need replacing.
5. Saffie also sliced the curtains in my bedroom.

Ok-ok... before you start thinking i'm a bad mother to my cat, note that I made sure someone came by every single day to check on her. She only gets pissed when I leave her for a few days at a time. Come on! She's a CAT!! She shouldn't need to be looked after more than a dog!!

6. I was lied to by someone. (who shall remain nameless)
7. My phone was dead due to lost luggage which made it exponentially harder to get in touch with the airline to find my luggage.
8. I was supposed to "meet" with a group from school about our project on Saturday, but couldn't due to dead phone.

The last two, you'll hear about later :)

Checking Out

I think I'm losing my mind (or perhaps I've just been on vacation too many times in the past few months).

It wouldn't be such a big deal if there weren't multiple instances of this "memory loss" happening to me.

Let's take a look.

- I asked my grandfather to come "check out my new car" when I was at the family reunion on Sunday. He'd already seen it. Twice. I have no recollection of this event.

- An old boyfriend came by to buy the head unit from my old car. We were chatting a little while he was over. He was recounting things from our relationship that I clearly did not remember happening. This is only odd for me because I usually remember everything about my relationships. I can tell you the date, time, place, what song we were listening to, what clothes we were wearing - some scary details. Yet, I have no recollection of some of the events he described.

- I talked to Sam on Monday and made the comment "Man, I don't think we've actually talked since Friday. I've been so busy." To which he replies, " Um... we talked at least twice on Saturday and once on Sunday." Oops! Of course he had to analyze this situation, "Hah. You're getting old! I think you told me the same story twice last week."

I'm not getting old! I'm just "checked out" - and I need to check back in!!!! :)

10 things that made this weekend interesting

1. Made some quick cash by selling the head unit from my previous car all while reconnecting with an old friend.
2. Rearranged my bedroom. Completely. There's now a lovely King Size bed in there complete with new linens.
3. Made a girl leave the bar because I danced better than her. It was quite hilarious. She made reference to her dancing skills and I had to show her up. She grabbed her purse and left the building.
4. Shared a bottle of wine with Trent. It had been sitting on my counter since he gave it to me for my birthday in April.
5. Went to a family reunion (in which my great aunt - who is about 55 years old - dyed two streaks of her grey hair bright blue)
6. Had 3 pairs of heels re-tapped and made wear-able again. (nothing like rejuvenating shoes that were oh-so-sexy)
7. Watched a really bad movie. German with subtitles?? Snooze.
8. Selected my Halloween costume for this year. A lovely French Maid. I've never been anything in the past 5 years but a cat. It was time to change it up.
9. Went through several boxes of old stuff at my mom's house. Found lots of 'junk' I kept for various reasons. We'll cite it 'memorabilia'.
10. Woke up two mornings in a row sans hangover after drinking quite a bit the night before. Now THAT is impressive!