Now that it's been a year...

... well, almost. Maybe a little over.

I can't say that I'm "back" but I can say that I have somewhat of an urge to start writing again. So many things have happened in this one year. Part of me wishes they'd already been written down here, but part of me is glad they were written the way they were... transformed into art.

Yes, that's right. I've become an artist.

For the past few years I've been exceptionally good at being numb to my feelings - anything and everything that comes along with that. A few events this past February lead me to do some inner soul searching and introspection.

Last night, while doing art with Mrs. Artsy, we pulled cards. That's something we usually do, and it's just for fun. Sometimes it's shocking to see that it's pertinent to what's going on in life... but aren't they all? They're just so vague and your brain can work its magic to transform what it's saying to be relevant to you.

This one I pulled, however, applies to my therapy.

By meditating on a past issue with new wisdom and insight and an acceptance of personal responsibility and forgiveness, reclamation may take place. A spiritual re-amalgamation of a facet of the individual's personality, for the purposes of clearing and self-empowerment, may be possible, and a healthy union in the soul the result. Reassurance is gained from a reunion of this nature, revealing whether the correct path was taken and your decisions were based on valid and honest instincts and motivations.

Well isn't that telling?!

I can say, now that I look back and read some things from this blog. I read different books, I challenge myself with different things, I occupy my time differently... and it's all for the better. I'm happy and I'm so glad I've found myself.

PS. I also have a ridiculously amazing boyfriend. Definitely going to need a pseudonym for him ;)

Got my Hurrr did

Today, I ventured out and did something so completely off-the-wall. I'm not sure how I actually did it without losing it, but I did. And I'm proud of myself.

I cut my hair.

For most girls, a trip to the salon occurs once every 6-8 weeks ensuring the best cut, color, and products are used on their hair. Not for me... I usually end up in a Great Clips chair cutting 4-5 inches off the bottom every 6-8 MONTHS, and a chemical has never touched my head.

Long hair suits me well. I think I look too young with shorter hair, but whatever.

So, today, stepped out on this limb at the Paul Mitchell school near where I live. Absolutely a really awesome choice - and I'm glad I went there. My stylist is just about to graduate and was super cool about everything. Since I have "virgin hair", everyone was enamored by it. Haha. Awkward!

Anyway, so I might go further out on this limb next week and get some highlights and color put in it. One step at a time, for sure. I ended up getting about 6 inches cut off the bottom and getting "round layers". She styled my hair really cute - but of course it fell from the salon to my doorstep. My hair holds absolutely nothing!

Sham-bam-a-lam...

My birthday was fan-tabulous, as always. I've been secretly afraid of turning 25... but I am. It's really weird now. I don't know how the days make a difference, but they do.

School is nearing end... I've only got 2 1/2 weeks left of class, essentially. That's with the 1/2 being the two days I have to go for a presentation and an exam. This semester has flown by, and I'm excited about that.

I leave for Italy/Paris on the 15th of May (only a little over a month away!) and I'm super excited. I have a lot of things to plan (a hotel or something in Paris) Oh, before I forget - Odette, I really would LOVE some pointers from you on what to do there... so send them my way!

Michael got the job promotion and will be moving to DC at the end of May/beginning of June as well. I'm really sad about this because I have to be here for ONE stupid class this summer :( Which means I won't get to move there until the beginning of August. That's two WHOLE months without him!

Speaking of - we've had some crazy times these past few weeks - but everything is somehow working out just perfectly. I suppose that's what is supposed to happen when God's the center of your relationship. He has been the sweetest bf ever :)

Carrie is in NOLA for the weekend and as happy as a pea in a pod... Blaire arranged a little surprise thing for me on my birthday with Michael. We had SO Much fun and I love her for it!!!

I'll be so excited when all of the craziness is over and I can feel normal again. I've got the itch to buy a Wii and Wii Fit. An itch that's lasted at least a few weeks (that's how I know I REALLY want something...) It's only $350 for everything... but then again, I AM going to my favorite city in the world in just a month and am going to need all the funds I've got to make it happen. Ohhhhh how I just loooove being responsible.

Hope you guys are doing well. Hell, maybe some of you have stopped reading because I write so infrequently. Please bear with me, I PROMISE it'll get interesting again!!!

Rocky Road (not the ice cream)

I have been unable to post to this blog for a couple of weeks because life is incredibly rocky at the moment. It saddens me to write about it, so I've avoided this blog altogether. Of course, I've kept up with yours - just can't get my mind off of this one thing long enough to write something important.

I'm sad that Obama won the presidency (obviously... if you follow my blog you know why!) but I think he'll do a good job. He's the president-elect and I kinda have to support him. I'm not going to bitch about it until after he proves us McCain supporters right and fucks something up ;) haha just kidding. Hopefully he'll be able to bring about all the change he talked about... I'll be waiting for that moment!

So, I'm sorry I haven't written - and I'm not sure how much longer it'll be until I write again. Keep checking back, though. I may just surprise you with five fun-filled crazy entries in one day! You never know!

I hope you guys all had a great Halloween and you're enjoying all of the Christmas and shopping commercials that have raided the space between your favorite shows. (Speaking of, I've started watching 'the starter wife' for some reason... I kind of like it!)

Anywho... life will go on. C'est la vie always has been my favorite saying. Oh, and I've found a study abroad program that is a may-mester for next year! I think I'm going to do it... Paris in my future? No way! ;)

Focus.

Or a lack thereof.

I'm trying really hard. I really am. This semester has kicked my ass from here to there and back again. For one, things with Michael are going extremely well and all I want to do is spend all of my time with him. His son is in town until the 26th and we've been doing all kinds of cool things around the city. For two, I took WAAAAaaaay too many classes this summer. I have group projects in three of my four classes. I am a shitty test-taker and always have been. For three, I have no motivation right now whatsoever. None to focus with. None to actually buckle down and do what I need to do to succeed. My mind goes blank at precisely the wrong time all the time.

And that's not like me. Not one bit.

So... for the next two weeks until this hellacious semester is over... I won't be back. I'll still check up on your blogs - cause I've got a blackberry now and can do that on the train, but I won't be writing here until then. It sucks because this is my outlet for funny things and rants and raves and opinions, but I've got to do something to keep my ass from having to re-take a class or two.

C'est la vie.

See ya in two weeks!

If only there was another way...

My wit has subsided. My life is upside down from all of these life-changing events I'm putting myself through. Do I feel like writing in this blog? Not so much. Do I have things I want to say? Absolutely. But I feel like they should be kept private for the moment... just until I figure everything else out.

Life will be great once again, I just know it will. I am desperate for this change to go ahead and happen... because I feel like May 2008 is going to be a waiting game.

I wish Carrie were here and not in Hawaii with her husband. She and I have so much fun together. I also wish all of these hard decisions I had to make weren't so hard and that I didn't have to forfeit some happiness to make them happen. If only there was another way...

Jealousy... is takin over me...

Not really. I think it's a song. Maybe? Anyway.

I must say... I'm doing REALLY well (MUCH better than I have with any boyfriend before) with Michael's exes. Some of them are still around because of various reasons (before you criticize, just trust me that they're significant reasons). They're not around in that sense... he just has to keep in touch with some of them because of, well, I'm not getting into that.

So. Tonight, surfing around on myspace, I saw something that initially made me jump (it was nothing, really) but it was one of those things where I had to stop myself and say "girl. Really?" cause I was SO overreacting.

I'm very proud of myself for not being bothered by things like that with him. For instance, the other day we sat at lunch and he had to place a phone call to one of them to get something straightened out with the bank (LONG story) and Rocky's papers. I gritted my teeth for a while, thought really nice thoughts, and then it was over. See? Harmless!

I have every right to feel the way I feel because two previous exes were capsized by THEIR exes... and I was the one that got cheated on. Hrm. Go figure. But I'm doing better with it and trust Michael more than any other guy I've ever dated.

Woo-hoo! This means I'm growing up! :)

I <3 Michael and he <3's me... and that means a whole WORLD of difference to me!


[oh, and JUST to clarify... Michael's not his REAL name... Duh!!]