Growth

Today, I grew a little bit. As a person.

I took what someone had to tell me at face value. I believed them. I understood exactly what it is they had to say. And I get it.

Not only am I a day older... I'm a day wiser.

Thank you to two unexpected messengers. ;)

10 Things [contributing to my big A]

Even more anxiety? No way. Ugh. I'm so over it!

1. Friday was my last day with the consulting company. It was bittersweet, but we went to happy hour after we met up for our 'wrapping everything up' meeting. Turns out, the wine bar we were at was filming an episode of NFL Wives (VH1). I'm not sure anyone watches that show, well, maybe Carrie, but I'll be one one of the episodes in the background. Kind of exciting!

2. Monday, I start the new job. I'm really excited about it - getting to meet new people, working on something new and something stable, and just the excitement of a new job overall. Now if this anxiety would just go away, I'll be in tip-top shape :)

3. I'm also trying to find a place to move to. My roomie here is moving to El Paso for 6 months with his job, so he can't move with me (sad!) but I'll be able to find another roommate and hopefully it'll work out as well as this one has. All of the whole finding a place, moving, and getting another roommate - well, that's stressful. ALSO needing to sell some extra things that I have lying around. If I get enough, might get a new living room set or TV or something. Who knows?!

4. This month, I'll have another credit card paid off (thank god). I have been pouring money into those cards and it's finally starting to show.

5. I have been dating a boy... and he's really quite fantastic. We've gone on 6 dates, so I guess it's alright for me to tell you about him. I don't like blogging about all of them, because, well, there have been a lot of 1st and 2nd dates but nothing beyond that... and, I dunno, it would have been great to write it all down, but seeing that many stories that come to an abrupt end is depressing.

Anyway, this boy and I have great chemistry together - I think the challenge is mutual (it is rare that I find someone, much less a guy, that challenges me) and we have a lot of fun together. Tall, ridiculously cute, and he likes me... who would have thought? I'm just trying to be extremely patient - and go with the flow. I don't need ANOTHER thing changing in my life right now ;)

6. Tonight, I scrapbooked a few pages in my Italy album. It was nice to pull that stuff out again. My mom had it out while she was here, so it was a little inspirational. I still have a long way to go, but it's progress nontheless.

7. I walked into a bridal boutique this AM to get measured for Rae's wedding in October. Turns out, the lead time to order this dress is 10-12 weeks... and I don't have that. Shit! Rush ordering makes it available only days before the wedding, and I'll already be in ATL at that point... start adding up the bill for rush and shipping now. I tried the dress on anyway - and, wouldn't you know... the sample they had at the boutique fit me perfectly... AND it was the right color for the wedding. The sash wasn't the "banana" color she wanted, but it's a creme, and since I'm the Maid of Honor, she thought it might look okay. What are the frickin' odds? $130 bucks later, scratch that off the list!!

8. I booked my tickets home for the wedding the other day. $190 round trip isn't bad. :) Now, just need a rental car and I'm set. Bachelorette party plans are also in the works. That feeling of 'accomplishment' is awesome.

9. Last night I went out with some friends that I hadn't gone out with in a long time. It was a fantastic time, as usual, and it made me realize that I have been sheltering myself with Fran. Since she and I aren't really hanging out much anymore (for other reasons), it was kind of refreshing to know that I could still go out and have a good time with some other people. I was drunk. Really, really drunk, though. Eh. What's a few drunk texts anyway ;)

10. Ready for what's next. Ready to shed some excess baggage (or so to speak) and enter the next phase of my life. This job is the first step in that direction. I'm stoked. (oh, and Carrie is moving so much closer than Hawaii in less than a month!!!!! OMG, SO excited!!)

That's it for now. Now do you see why I've got so much anxiety!? ;)

Hippity Hop... and you don't stop...

My, oh my, where does the time go?

DC was a lot of fun... I went to see the Allen Ginsberg exhibit and I was really glad I did. Such an amazing collection of photographs. One thought while I was looking through the gallery, we don't typically see the way people lived - in reality - during the 60's thru the 90's. We think of things today, like packaging, and other consumer goods as very vibrant with lots of colors to catch your eyes on the shelves. Cigarette packages, cereal boxes, even mugs or chinese takeout - everything was so plain, so simple. I enjoyed that aspect of the shots he took.

I also really enjoyed his take on life outside his kitchen window. His thoughts on the world, written below on the photographs above, were interesting.

I also went to the sculpture garden, the National Geographic Museum where the DaVinci exhibit was displayed, and a few other places. I only had a half day on Sunday to check anything out because I worked so much. I literally got 4-6 hours of sleep a night because I was at the office or in the hotel. Crazy busy with my project.

While in the hotel, I rented a few movies, one of which My Sister's Keeper. I cried. Sobbed, actually. I can't remember a time where I've cried that hard to a film. I could completely relate to Cameron Diaz's fight for her daughter's life. That's how, I have a feeling, I'll love my children one day... with such a passion.

The project was a success, and frankly, I'm burnt out on PR work. I've always known that branding and marketing for one brand has been my niche, but I didn't really have a choice with this project and the Consulting company.

Speaking of, I did have a talk with my boss and accepted one of the offers - for a chain of sandwich shops. I'll be the Marketing Manager and focus on Local Store Marketing across the US. August 9th is the day :) Super excited about it!

Last night, I went to a book club meeting (my first, ever) and we discussed The Unbearable Lightness of Being. It was a good book - and I was only halfway through (was invited to read it only a week and a half ago!) but it was a really intense, awesome book. The next is A Reliable Wife. We'll see how this one goes!

My family comes to town tomorrow - it'll be good to see them! I just don't know what I'm going to do with them quite yet. I know we'll go to the zoo, and we have a painting class lined up for Monday night. I'm sure we'll hit the pool and do a little exploring for them... I just hope they don't get bored! My little sisters will probably be fascinated with all that Dallas has to offer... but I haven't done any of that yet. You know, explore those things.

I'm pushing away a friend who recently got her third strike. I've known she's been a questionable friend for a little while now, but I really think she's shitty now. It's hard to do - especially when my friend base is not huge... but I'm ok with that. I'd rather surround myself with no one at all than someone who acts the way she does.

C'est la vie, right? ;)

Anyway, that's the 'me' update now. There's more, but you'll have to wait for that...

10 [minus two] Things.... another update

It's been a while since I've written. I know this. So many whirlwind things have been going on... 10 Things, shall we?

1. Carrie came last week for a week. I didn't want her to go - we had SO much fun while she was here. We didn't get to go to Austin, but each night was a success anyway. I can't wait to hear if she decides to move here or not.... it'll be great for us to live in the same city again.

2. I have come to the conclusion that boys are weird. Not just weird, weird. But SUPER weird. They'll be ALL about you one minute, then drop off the face of the earth the next. I know I'm not supposed to be in a relationship right now (otherwise, I'd be in one) but geeze. Boys are just super weird. That's all I can say.

3. The job thing is really starting to ramp up. I have now had 2 interviews and am waiting on two more. I got a call yesterday saying there is a solid offer in the works with one and I should see it in writing next week. I don't know which direction to go... and it's a HUGE career move with whichever one I take. *sigh* hopefully I'll make the right decision.

4. I did end up going to the Greg Laswell show, as mentioned in the last post. It's a long story, but I'm glad I did. He's such a great singer. You should really go check out his music.

5. I have been SO super stoked about Kaskade and the Electric Daisy Carnival this weekend. I'm not going to get to go now, and that's a HUGE bummer. I know he'll be back, but I'm still sad I'm missing an opportunity to see him.

6. I'm going home this weekend. There is some family "ish" going on that needs me there. I'm not really telling anyone (friends) I'm going because I'll feel guilty for not hangin out.

7. It's hotter than hell out here in D-town. It's only 8:30 and it's already 81 degrees. My tan looks nice, so that's the up-side. But geebus, it's hot!

8. I was reconnected with Sam last week. I ran into his sister on a patio out here, really weird. After THIS incident, I thought I'd never be speaking to him again. I got a phone call from him about an hour later, apologizing for the way things were left between us earlier. I talked to him for a minute, then told him I needed to go because I was with my friends. He text and asked if I would forgive him. Eh, not so much. I brushed it off.

That's all I've got - and that's a lot.

Introspection

As of late, I've been partying. A lot. It has to do with my friendship with Fran, that's for sure. I want to settle in to some dating relationships, but I have way too much fun. So, for me, I'm going to discuss several aspects of my life in the following paragraphs. Hopefully you'll read and offer up something good in the advice arena. If not, oh well.

Friendships
The friendships I've made in Texas have been solid, to an extent. I feel like I have good friends here, but they're not the best in the world. My bestie lives in Hawaii and I don't have much face-to-face with her, but she's there for me, she doesn't judge, and she's an amazing person. Fran, on the other hand, is my partner in crime. And crime it is. We're a lot a like, but she pushes the envelope farther than I do. Personality differences, I suppose. I wish there was a way to be completely anonymous about stories she and I have. If so, I'd write day and night. Some good, some bad, some scandalous, and some absolutely ridiculous. Book material, that good. I'm jaded when it comes to friendships at the moment. Opening up about this is not going to be my forte.

Relationships
There are many guys in my life at the moment. They're all incorporated into the perfect man. This always happens when I'm single... I keep a roster of a few that sit on the bench. I call them in to play when they're needed and it's a win/win situation, for me at least. One is my go-to for dates and social outings, another for fun outdoor activities, another for awesome conversation. Pretty soon, one will start to stand out and all the others will fade into the background.

Work
I've written many posts on this subject and nothing has changed. Right now, I have 4 options/offers on the table for my taking. I just have to make the ridiculously hard decision on which company and position it's going to be. This is one of those career-defining moments. I hope I make the right one...

Roommate
I'm actually incredibly happy with my roomie right now. He's become better since he got rid of the girl he was dating. Maybe I was just annoyed by all of that, or maybe it just changed him slightly. Who knows? He's really chill, doesn't invade my space... so what if he eats all the eggs? ;) haha!

Travel
I'm itching. Severely. I would love nothing more than to just jaunt around Europe for months and months, to live there, to do something fun like that. I'm talking still with the company I used to work for on the project out there. We'll see if that happens. If I get an offer to go there, I will hop on a plane tomorrow. You only get those types of opportunities once in a lifetime.

Family
I miss them dearly. My little sisters are so cute. They're learning to have better conversations on the phone. One of them likes to tell me jokes and the other one is learning how to leave voicemails. Absolutely adorable. I can't wait until they're teenagers - just a few more years. They're coming to visit at the end of the summer. I cannot wait for this. It's going to be so much fun. Now, I just need to get my brother over here....

That's about it, I guess. I'm feeling pretty somber at the moment. More apathetic than usual... but that's alright, I suppose. We all go through these moments in our lives. Big decision times, lots of crazy-ness.... I guess that's why it's called an introspection.

Now you know. ;)

4 fun things... before I go.

1. Kaskade will be here on June 19. Omg, the anticipation.
2. Carrie will be here even sooner than that - on Monday. We're going to have an amazing week.
3. I've been running a lot lately (not this week, but previous ones). I've run so much, it baffles even me. Kudos.
4. I have been contemplating writing a book again. I think I have a big story to tell. It just feels like an incredibly long and huge process.

Independence

There comes a point every so often that I just need a break. A break from the world, a break from people pestering me for this and that, a break from my friends. I just need to be me - go somewhere, experience something, do something - all on my own.

I have been working non-stop. I volunteered yesterday (amazing experience, by the way) and want to do more. I want to do my Rosetta Stone and become fluent. There are a lot of to-do's on my list and they don't involve the random shit I've been occupying my time doing. Being social has its disadvantages.

My mood has changed to include some bitterness. I don't understand the need for constant contact from friends. I feel you should be an addition to someone's life, not center yourself around it. I feel like that's how a few of my friends want me to treat them right now and I don't have the time or energy for it.

I want to go back to Italy and just be. I want to roam the streets, meet the friendly people, and soak in the sunshine.

As much as I'd like to work for the CC full time right now, I feel like I need to get out of the country, explore, and take an international position I've spoken of before.

I suppose the real question is why do I feel the need to get away so much? I felt the need to get out of Atlanta and move to a new city. I now feel the need to go bigger.

It's all part of my independence. It's all part of who I am.

I don't think that's going to change.

ATL mama....!!

This weekend was fan-tabulous in the ATL. I got to catch up with a lot of old friends, see some of the kids I used to nanny for, hang out with my family (saw my great gma!!), see a Braves pre-season game, and go on a date with Number 10. I had a blast… and happy birthday to me!

I wanted to write about something monumental – something that has a chuckle factor, or something that would be interesting to you, at least. But right now – none of that is. It was all just catching up.

Shenanigans ensued on Friday evening with Blaire and some other friends. We went out to our usual stomping grounds – just some new places. I didn’t go to the MF Room or to the Gold Club, which happen to be some newer “clubs” in town. There just wasn’t time or opportunity for it. I’m sure the same old ATL DB’s were out in full force and I was content spending time with the people I care about more.

I did see Michael Vick in the airport, getting on a plane to Tampa, so that was interesting. I also almost didn’t make my flight because they had to bump 4 people. They offered a sweet deal, too. Two free round trips anywhere AirTran flies, hotel for the night, and 3 meals. I would have taken them up on that offer had I not had a ridiculously important meeting at the oil and gas company on Monday. *sigh* If there’s anywhere to be “stuck,” Atlanta would be the best place.

You can find me in the...

I know, I know... a laptop is supposed to make me more accessible to the blogging community. I'm supposed to write more. Post up in a coffee shop and let the thoughts flow.

Well, I've been doing the posting up in coffee shops... but it's for the loads of work and no play! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love both of my jobs, it's just a lot of work! I come home and don't even want to look at the computer screen.

I shall tell you one quick, funny story and then go. It's a good one - promise!

So a few weeks ago, I went out with this gay friend of mine to a gay bar/club downtown. It was a lot of fun - and the part of town I hadn't ventured out to before. As any great wingwoman would do, I paid attention to the guys he was scoping out and offered my opinion and 'wingwoman services' (ie. befriending so the introduction is easier). It was great, we were meeting people, dancing all over the place, and just having an overall blast!

As we kept an eye on this one guy sitting on a stool, I kept noticing him getting really into the music but not getting up to come dance. I took that as my cue to talk to him and invite him to the dance floor.

The conversation went a little like this:

Me: "Hey dude! You look like you're having so much fun with the music and dancing... but you should totally come dance with us on the dance floor!"

Him: (politely) Yah, I'm having a great time! Thanks for the invitation, but no thanks!

Me: Are you sure? You RRRrreeeeaaalllyy look like you'd like to come dance with us. You're just over here bee-boppin to the music (well, I said something like that. It didn't sound as corny as it does written out!)

Him: I'm sure, thank you though! You guys have a great time!

I go back to my friend and relay the bad news. We blow it off and keep dancing. About 30 minutes later, out of the corner of my eye...

I see dude from the stool ROLLING out of the club in a WHEELCHAIR!

Yah. Read it again. ROLLING out of the club in a WHEELCHAIR!

I. Was. So. Embarrassed.

Of COURSE he looked like he wanted to come out on the dance floor to dance with us! Of COURSE he just sat on the stool because he couldn't get up. I cannot tell you how incredibly embarrassed I was at that moment! Insane!

Anyway, so that's my story. I felt bad. And still do. But there's nothing I can do about it. The wheelchair was nowhere in sight, so it wasn't like I was taunting him on purpose or anything.

Oy.

It's new laptop day!!!

Yep. It sure is!! In fact, yesterday should have been new laptop day but the crazies at FedEx decided they'd better bypass my door altogether and just leave it at the office. Had I not tracked this little sucker down last night, I wouldn't have even known it was sitting there waiting for me to bring it to life.

I mean, I DO live up 3 flights of stairs, but you sign up for that when you become a Fed Ex guy, in my opinion.

Either way, I'm SUPER excited about this laptop. I'm able to get work done SO much faster with such a large screen and fast computer. I'm able to go to the coffee shop around the corner (which I absolutely ADORE) and chill with the music and hot tea. MMMmmm.

I have so many funny stories that I always want to blog about but never seem to have the time.

This morning, I was talking with a coworker. She was facing me (away from the window) and I was facing her (looking out the window). Since our office building is overlooking the highway on one side, I was able to see a man on a bicycle out of the window. He looked like santa claus and his bike was loaded with junk. It was sad, because he was riding near the highway and that's super dangerous. But it was also pretty funny, because he looked super determined to make it. Poor guy!

This weekend will probably be uneventful. My best friend out here broke up with his girlfriend the other day. The one he moved here for. So he's moving back. And I'm super sad about it. I loved hanging out with him! Hell, with THEM! They're so much fun. Well, they were. Anyway, very sad moment.

But alas, it's new laptop day - so I'm happy about that! And really tired. So, umm, goodnight!

10 Things I accomplished today

1. I went to lunch with some really good friends I haven't seen in a while. One of which is getting married next week - and the other has a small baby. Perhaps this makes things a bit difficult for us to get together regularly! ;) Anyway, went to lunch with them and they gave me a tiffany's butterfly pendant for my graduation! It's GORGEOUS and oh so perfect. They even wrote a little hai-ku about me spreading my wings now that I've graduated. Love them!!

2. Took a nap. Hehe. Yep. Love me some sleep!

3. Cleaned the kitchen...

4. Then washed my car (by hand)...

5. Ran some errands...

6. Did some laundry...

7. I went roller blading tonight for the first time since the accident. It was a mix between being scared shitless from not being able to stop and the how hot it's been. Tonight was perfect weather. Working at the restaurant and running around all the time has given me incredible stamina, too. I used to only be able to go around my park 2 - MAYBE 3 - times in one session. I made at least 4 laps and then walked another lap afterward. This may become a regular thing if I can keep THAT up!!

8. I got home and made some oatmeal raisin cookies that are, in Rachel Ray's words, Yum-O!

9. I've been working on my Italy scrapbook since and have a few pages done. I heart scrapbooking!

Ok, I think that's enough for one day!!

Sham-bam-a-lam...

My birthday was fan-tabulous, as always. I've been secretly afraid of turning 25... but I am. It's really weird now. I don't know how the days make a difference, but they do.

School is nearing end... I've only got 2 1/2 weeks left of class, essentially. That's with the 1/2 being the two days I have to go for a presentation and an exam. This semester has flown by, and I'm excited about that.

I leave for Italy/Paris on the 15th of May (only a little over a month away!) and I'm super excited. I have a lot of things to plan (a hotel or something in Paris) Oh, before I forget - Odette, I really would LOVE some pointers from you on what to do there... so send them my way!

Michael got the job promotion and will be moving to DC at the end of May/beginning of June as well. I'm really sad about this because I have to be here for ONE stupid class this summer :( Which means I won't get to move there until the beginning of August. That's two WHOLE months without him!

Speaking of - we've had some crazy times these past few weeks - but everything is somehow working out just perfectly. I suppose that's what is supposed to happen when God's the center of your relationship. He has been the sweetest bf ever :)

Carrie is in NOLA for the weekend and as happy as a pea in a pod... Blaire arranged a little surprise thing for me on my birthday with Michael. We had SO Much fun and I love her for it!!!

I'll be so excited when all of the craziness is over and I can feel normal again. I've got the itch to buy a Wii and Wii Fit. An itch that's lasted at least a few weeks (that's how I know I REALLY want something...) It's only $350 for everything... but then again, I AM going to my favorite city in the world in just a month and am going to need all the funds I've got to make it happen. Ohhhhh how I just loooove being responsible.

Hope you guys are doing well. Hell, maybe some of you have stopped reading because I write so infrequently. Please bear with me, I PROMISE it'll get interesting again!!!

Visitors and Anonymity

Carrie is definitely here :) We're having SUCH a girl-time. We went to see Confessions of a Shopaholic today (which, I did not like her outfits, but thought the movie was great!). We went to get mani/pedi's (I have not done this in at least a year). We got Panera (Yumm!!), shopped a bit, and came home for dinner and delicious bottle(s) of wine. We each got one... and I'm about 3 glasses deep in mine at the moment.

We're about to head to a favorite bar of ours that we haven't been to in FOREVER, it feels like. Blaire is coming to pick us up and be the DD tonight. We're going to have a BLAST!

I dropped Michael off yesterday morning... he's headed to a month-long business trip far, far away from here :( but I'm going to visit him the weekend of the 20th. That's only 2 weeks away, and we get to tour the city together.

I have been contemplating, with all the cities I've been traveling to, revealing to you where I live. I know, I know, this has been my greatest fear - someone I work with, in my oh-so-professional life, will find this blog and read all about my personal life. This is something I hold sacred in the professional world. I don't think co-workers should be allowed into your personal life, unless you let them.

SO - I'm THINKING about writing about it... but for now, you'll just have to read about my newest "Review of a new city" :)

Oh how I love cheap wine.

10 [exciting] Things about this week...

1. You know that study abroad program I've been talking about for, like, ever now??!? WELLLllllll... I had an interview (impromptu, might I add) with the sponsor of the trip and he wants me to go!!! So that means I'm accepted into the program and I get to go to Italy for Maymester!!! This also means other great things for my school stuff. I only have to take ONE class this summer and I'll be done! Which means I'll technically be able to start working as much as I'd like and that'll be fabulous! I'm going to need it to pay off the cost of this trip, but it's so worth it! I got the good news yesterday and I couldn't be more excited.

2. Carrie comes to see me in exactly 27 days. OMG, it's finally here!! I cannot WAIT!! We're going to go see Confessions of a Shopaholic (I'm so glad she's waiting to see it with me - you have NO idea how big of a deal it is for her to actually wait to see a movie!)

3. Michael invited me to go HOME with him to meet his parents, etc. (yes, HOME is a different city and state and timezone...) This just happened today. Ummmm I kinda freaked out for a second but I'm really excited! We had actually planned this for the Christmas holidays but it didn't end up working out like that. So, he wanted to go for a short weekend in two weeks for his son's birthday and wants me to come. That's $180 round trip for a plane ticket. I feel like it's worth it, though. :) This is a huge step in our relationship, by the way...

4. I called my credit card company (the one I have with the whopping almost 6 grand in fun money on it) and had my interest rate lowered from 18.9 (who the fuck has an 18.9% interest rate with my credit score?!) to 3.99.... fabulous!! I don't know why I never thought to ask for a lower interest rate before. I just thought that's what you had to pay. I've been hearing from other people that they've called and now have been able to pay off their card - instead, I feel like I've been paying them a shit ton of interest these past few years. :)

5. Blaire is moving back to the city THIS WEEKEND!! I'm SO excited for her! She'll be closer and I'll be able to see her more often :)

6. Rae moved out a week ago and I'm still looking for a roommate. I've posted an ad on craigslist but haven't found anything just yet... gotta keep looking!

7. My Nutrition class was supposed to have a test on Tuesday. My teacher sent an email (that I didn't get) and said we were going to have it next week instead... this means I get more time to prepare for it. MUCH needed, thank you! I absolutely LOVE this class. I give Carrie the good scoop every Tuesday once I get out.

8. I start my nanny job on Monday. I'll be making about 300 bucks a week for about 20 hours (FABULOUS!!) and then I have Thursday mornings and Saturday nights at the restaurant. That should make up the difference for all of my bills. :) I can't wait to start this nanny job - I'm going to have so much homework time - I'll actually be caught up with all of my classes.

9. I finally have all of my W2's and can go get my taxes done. I'm a bit timid about it because of the work I did for one of my marketing projects over the summer. I made about 3,000 with them and didn't pay taxes on it at the time - I hope it's not a huge whammy this time!

10. I went to my small group thing (DEFINITELY going to love it... not what I thought initially) on Tuesday night. The girls are really nice and I think I'm going to connect with at least some of them. I volunteered to host the next one on Tuesday at my house, so hopefully that will go well! :)

Wow. It's been such a great week... I love it! I can't wait for all of this fun stuff to happen! I've got to go ahead and get my passport (yep, almost 25 and don't have a passport yet...) so I'll have it for my trip. That's another hundred bucks right there!!

I hope you all have had a lovely week and have a fabulous weekend! :)

mumbo jumbo

It's *ahem* 3am and I'm just now able to write and catch you all up. I feel like life is flying by a mile a minute. So... short, choppy bullet points will have to do :) I feel like that's the best way to organize all this random information anyway!

- First of all, things with Michael are still quite crazy at the moment. I broke things off with him because he wasn't treating me the way I wanted to be treated (he wasn't treating me badly, just not the way I wanted). That only lasted a few weeks before we started talking again and he told me he didn't want me out of his life. Since then, it's been kinda blah. It's not been the way it was before, nor the way I think it should be - but we're both going through a TON of shit in our lives, so I guess it's to be expected. At least we still talk daily and spend a lot of time together - I think that's all that matters. Well, that, and we love each other. I guess that's the glue sometimes...

- This new year's whizzed by me so quickly. I didn't really make any resolutions other than to start being on time. I hate being late to places, but I can't ever seem to be on time. So far, I've pulled it off quite nicely - I've definitely cut it close a few times though!!

- Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Waiting tables is the worst fun you could ever possibly imagine. I don't wish this nightmare upon my worst enemy (ok, well, maybe). But I work at a very upscale mexican restaurant... where the food is quite expensive, which means you make a lot in tips at the end of the night. It's extremely hard work. The people are exhausting. My coworkers are absolutely insane and I despise one of my managers. I'm glad the only thing she could find to do with her life is to be a manager at a restaurant such as this. She'll amount to great things with the attitude she's got. Sense the sarcasm. Please. Anyway, so this job is sucking the life outta me... which brings me to....

- I'm looking for a new job. I interview on Tuesday for a nanny position for a 7 month old who apparently sleeps all day. My brother's girlfriend has been her nanny for a little while now and tells me this. Only, she's found the day job she wants and can no longer do it. The hours are nice, the pay is even nicer... and it'll get me out of the waiting tables business. Lord, I never thought i'd have to stoop so low...

- 140 lb. update. Well. I made it. Not on my own terms, but I made it nonetheless. Working at the restaurant - running around all the time - has made me reach my goal weight - but if I quit and go nanny, I'm afraid, I'll put those 5 lbs right back on. There's no way I can keep up with the 5 - 9 hours of running around to keep it off. Absolutely no way :) Oh well, At least I hit it!

- The school I go to has about driven me insane. This semester has been worse than previous semesters (I don't even feel like looking up all the crap I've blogged about to reference it. Just know that it's been a bunch of bullshit!). So, they wouldn't let me in certain classes - but I need them to graduate. Finally, once they let me in, I was registering during late registration. THEN, two days after my schedule was finally in, they dropped all the classes because my loan (all billion dollars I had just sitting there waiting to be used) didn't get credited to the account yet (literally, TWO flippin days later!). SO, I had to go up there and wait for 3 hours while they figured it all out........ and pay all kinds of fees and fines just to be in school this semester. If I weren't so close to graduating, I'd have given up and gone to another school! Fuckers!

- All the while this is going on, I moved from the house I lived in (biatch of a landlord - THAT is a whole 'nother story in itself) into an apartment that is the bomb-diggity. My roommate and I moved here together, though just a week or so ago, her bf and her decided to buy a house. So they did. And she's moving out in a few weeks. So sad to see her go.... and that means I've gotta find another roommate. This sucks because my luck with good roommates is ridiculously nonexistent! I did stumble on a gold mine, though. This guy was moving out of an apartment across the way and asked if we wanted some of his furniture. Two black leather sofas, a dining room table and four chairs, and two bar stools later.... I had some new furniture. Funny how he was getting rid of the things I could use! I paid him 150 bucks and considered myself extremely lucky! (that shizzle is in damn good condition, too!) God was definitely looking out for me!

- Speaking of the lovely, himself. I plan on going next weekend to start a group with my church. We have this thing four times a year where everyone (a few thousand people) gets together to join groups for a period of weeks. You go to bible studies, etc. with people your age and in your area. I think it's going to be AWESOME!

- I've seriously missed this freakin thing. I miss writing down my thoughts and misadventures. I dunno if you all still read at all - cause I get the page hits but not any comments - so I hope you're still reading and you haven't forgotten about me! All these bullets would normally be individual posts as they happen... so thanks for sticking in there for the long haul! I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Years and I can't wait to catch up on your blogs!

Ok - so there you have it. A much needed update from moi! (PS - deadline to submit everything for the study abroad in France program is Feb 16... cross your fingers for me!!)

Black and Purple are fabulous colors!

Friday was an interesting day. I had papers due, a test or two to study for, a presentation to finish... alllll kinds of stuff for school. I'd dubbed Friday "Library Day" for all intents and purposes.

Lunch was great, I met up with some former coworkers... one of which is about to have a baby in about 3 weeks and one of which told us he's popping the question to his gf on Thursday. We're not super excited about this because the 4 of us are a close-knit group and this bi-atch has rained on our parade since she's stepped into a relationship with him. But, I digress. It was an eventful lunch nonetheless.

Before leaving my house to go to lunch, I dressed in some stretchy pants, flip flops and a comfortable shirt and pullover. It wasn't 'freezing' outside, but it was a bit nippy. I knew I was going to be at the library all day - so the more comfortable, the better.

I drove to the rail station to hop on the train. The ground is comprised of something other than concrete. It feels like granite (that's how slippery it is) but I doubt it's such. Since it just started 'drizzling' outside, I was very careful in how I walked. I made each ascent/descent carefully (there are about 100 stairs there and 100 back between the stations) and tried my hardest not to slip. Even when I arrived at school, I still had to walk extremely carefully.

I finished up in the Library and darkness started to set in. I made it back through the station, on the train, to the other station where my car was parked, and down the last 95 stairs. Then, all of a sudden...

I slipped.

I slid down not one, not two, but THREE 'granite' stairs. There was no handrail, nothing to break my fall. Only my tush (which, I've been trying to reduce the size of here recently). Of COURSE, I had to carry 3 books weighing a total of 40 extra pounds making it that much more harder of a fall.

The girl walking next to me tried to help me out and asked me if I was alright. It literally knocked the wind out of me... and I could barely walk. I felt sick to my stomach and just neeeeded to get back to my car so I could cry if I wanted to.

I got home and checked it out, no bruise yet, but INCREDIBLY sore. Saturday morning... purple and black... and the size of my hand. I bruised my ass so severely, that I've had to sit sideways to avoid the right butt cheek. It's still black and purple but a little less sore today.

I bet it'll be one or more of the colors on the color wheel by the time it's done. Yuck!

Anyway, that's my funny story for today. It's been quite an amusing weekend. ;)

10 Things...

1. I am incredibly bored. You've read that right. BORED. Ugh.
2. Michael and I went to see my sister's softball game last night. They won :) And it was a great game, too!
3. Next weekend we're going to my grandparent's house and celebrating their birthdays (both are in October)... beforehand, my brother and his girlfriend and Michael and I are going hiking/pumpkin patch and it's going to be FABULOUS! I can't wait!
4. We'll get to carve the pumpkins :)
5. Tomorrow night, I'm staying with my mom and sister. We're going to have a night of girl stuff - scrapbooking, movies, etc. It'll be SO much fun. My girlie-girl sister is going to be there... the other sister (who is not so much into the girlie-girl stuff) is going to a wedding with my step-dad.
6. Tonight we're going to an improv show an to the top of this building (reallly reallly cool) with some friends. Should be a GREAT time!
7. It has come down to the point where I'm just going to have to find something to do in this place. Lord help me, their marketing materials are non-existent. I think I've just found a gold mine.
8. The company I was doing a project for this summer was an investment firm. They literally went from spending $25,000 on tchotchke's to being pretty much bankrupt. I did get a compliment, however, on the project I did for them and one of his colleagues at another firm wants me to do the same work for them (obviously not an investment firm). There's DAMN GOOD money in Consulting.
9. I'm kicking ass in school! I've made over an 80 on everything (except one quiz) so far. I'm EXTREMELY proud of myself! My schedule next semester is shitty, but whatever. 4:30 to 9:45 Mondays and Wednesdays. Ugh!
10. I <3 Michael... SOOOOOsooooo much!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

10 [minus 2] Things that are random...

*whew* I was heated yesterday when I wrote that placeholder.

1. This guy is in my group in my marketing research class. He, for the first half of the semester didn't do anything. Didn't respond to any email, didn't stay after class to discuss our group project, didn't participate whatsoever. So I talked to my teacher about it since we have the option of 'firing' a group member - then they're forced to do the project solo. Anyway... after the teacher talked to him, he did a complete 180. Now, he's TAKING OVER the whole project. Which, would be fine, if he wasn't so demanding and controlling.
He took a look at what we've done so far and basically told me that we were going in the wrong direction and needed to start over. HAH! If he wanted his input considered, he should have responded to the first 20 emails about it. But he didn't. So he has no say.
Yesterday, he stood out in the hall and argued with me about the project. I just kept telling him that he needed to discuss with the group... not just me. He's fucking psycho. That's all I have to say about that!!

2. Last night, Michael and I attended THE most depressing concert I think I've ever been to. The line-up was great... Augustana, Maroon 5, and Counting Crows. EXCEPT, they played their up-beat songs slower and sang differently. It was awful. We only saw 3/4 of Counting Crows and 1/2 of Maroon 5 before we called it a night. It was a bit chilly out, we were both tired, and it wasn't worth being there. We're not depressing people!! Good thing I only paid 10 bucks for the tickets!

3. In other news, I found a long lost friend from camp. I've been in touch with the 3 other girls I used to hang with at camp, but we could never find this one. And I finally found her the other night!! :) She's got a kid, just got married, and has another kid on the way. So happy for her!

4. You'll be happy to know that my miserable-ness ended at close of business on Tuesday. I came in this morning and they said they've got a project for me... woohoo! Something to do!! :) Hooray! Although, I still don't have a permanent desk... and they bitched about me moving the monitor. Hrmph. I tried hard to put it back the way I found it.

5. I made an 82 on my Finance quiz last night. I TOTALLY screwed up number 1 and number 5. There were only 6 questions :) But, that's still pretty good! I have another test on Monday, a paper draft due (well, overdue, technically - but it's not being graded yet), group project stuff due all over the place... my night and weekend will be spent studying. Aren't you happy for me?! Hah. Yahright!

6. I've been doing great losing a little bit of weight. Scales don't matter, by the way. I put on a pair of pants that were usually tight - and now they're a bit loose. SO excited about that!

7. My little sister is in the parade tomorrow and I cannot wait to go do her hair and all that cute stuff. My mom bought her a NEW dress (not the one she wore in the pagent cause the color of the sash clashes with the dress, she says). I think she just wanted to get her a new dress, I don't think she really needed one. Lucky girl!

8. I've had BAD anxiety this week. I mean REALLY bad. Yesterday was awful, Tuesday was even worse - but it's all up and down. *sigh* Today is MUCH better :)

Bitchy Behavior - Again.

I have found, these days, that I have so many things to write about that are incredibly random. My posts haven't been about one topic in particular, they've been about 10 (hence the many "10 Things" recently). I think it's good, but it also means that situations haven't evolved for me, they've just happened. (an EXTREMELY good thing)...

That time has come and gone, and now I have a story for you. One that my close friend(s) are pissed about along with me... and since you guys already know part of the story... here is some more. Enjoy!

For some well-rounded background, you should read this. And this. :)

Since the concert of bitchy behavior, Girl number 1 has changed a bit. Let's call her Leslie. Leslie is married to one of Michael's good friends. The good friend that I knew before I even knew Michael - and he's actually the one that introduced me to Michael. Leslie's husband is a great guy, drama-free, really smart, trying to get into the 'rap' industry with some great talent. And he's an all around fun guy, easy to be around. Leslie, on the other hand, wasn't. So it's made my friendship with her quite rough.

It doesn't help that she was hanging out with Girl Number 2, 3, and 4... BEST friends with these people - all very negative, immature, and ridiculous.

Anyway, after the concert, Leslie had an epiphany of sorts. She stopped talking to 2,3, and 4 because her husband enlightened her (again) as to how they were ruining their marriage, etc. It wasn't hard to see as an outsider, but as an insider, it was probably quite difficult. Either way, she stopped hanging out and talking to these girls, started focusing on herself and her marriage, and saw that I was a good person to be around, that everything in my life was positive, so she wanted to befriend me in a way she hadn't before.

Now, I was over it with this girl. As you know from previous posts, I've tried and tried to be friends with this girl but she wasn't having it. Canceling on me at the last minute - or not even responding to phone calls or text messages. I had already made up my mind that the concert was the last time I'd make an effort to have a good time with her. Ridiculous drama. But then she changed, and I saw that change... we had long conversations about the changes in her life and I could tell there was something different about her.

So, last Saturday night (two Saturdays ago), Michael and I went to her house and watched the UFC fight with her and her husband - along with lots of other friends. We got wasted and had a good time - drama free. The change was becoming more and more evident. She told me she wanted to have Girls Night Out next weekend (meaning this past weekend) and that we should just get a whole bunch of girls together and hang out.

Since the new Leslie was out in full force, and I'd seen these changes, I told her I'd get some of my girls together and she could talk to whoever - and we'd all go out on Saturday night. Michael left a shirt over there and we were in town already, so we stopped by to get it. So, I saw her on Sunday and she was SO excited about Girls Night.

Wednesday rolls around and I get a phone call from her. "Hey, how are you? How's your week? Ready for this weekend and Girls Night Out?" etc. etc.... RANDOM phone call from her. I'm definitely not used to talking to her like that - or during the week for that matter. Again, seeing the positive changes in her was nice.

Saturday rolls around and she gives me a call around 11AM. Since I'd only gotten home around 4AM from being out with my girls, I was still asleep. So we talked later (about 2-ish) about the plans for the evening. Where we were going, what we were wearing, what time we'd meet up, etc.

8pm rolls around and I give her a call cause I hadn't heard back from her about what she decided to do (she was either going to one of the girls' house to get ready or coming to mine, she hadn't decided). I got her voicemail, left her a message, and she didn't call back. Around 10-ish, I text her. No response.

My 11:30pm text was a little more brash "so... I guess I'm going to assume that you're not coming out..." and that was the last of it. No returned phone call, no text message, NOTHING. And it's now Tuesday.

Are you fucking kidding me?! That was LITERALLY the last straw. Michael called it, though. He said she'd probably blow me off - but I didn't think it'd be like that. After all, she had talked to me during the week AND earlier that day. What gives?!

My girls and I had a FABULOUS evening without her :) thank you very much!

Sunday afternoon, I call her husband. (I was better friends with him than her anyway) I talk to him about what happened... and do you know what she told him?! He asked her if she was still going out with me when it started getting late... and she told him I blew her off! That I didn't call her, so she wasn't going! I certainly told him what REALLY happened and he didn't know what to tell me. He said they sat on the couch all night and hung out together.

Ok - here's my thing... she didn't have to come. If she didn't feel like coming or didn't feel like going out, or was drunk from watching the football game earlier - I can understand all of those things. But for her to have complete disregard and disrespect for me - that's ABSOLUTELY ridiculous.

I'm not upset about it to where it's affecting my life in any way, I've just seen the real true colors of a person - someone that I'm not going to surround myself with anymore. That was completely a low blow and uncalled for. Fuckers! ;)

Lesson Learned.

10 Things this week holds...

1. Tonight I get to snuggle with Michael. He had a 'mancation' this weekend and I missed him :) (he's actually already sleeping in the other room)
2. I have two tests... one tomorrow in Mktg Research and one Wednesday in Finance.
3. Dinner with a friend on Thursday night. (I forgot her pseudonym... we haven't hung out in a while!)
4. I talked with Michael about doing the Fat Smash Diet. It's actually one of the only "diets" I've ever considered doing. You basically cut out the fat from what you eat. Hrm. Sounds good to me!
5. Friday night is "family picture" night... my mom is having ALL of us get together to take a family photo. The last time this happened, my 7 year old sister was only a few months old.
6. I'm feeling MUCH better from the muck I had last week. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun, but I'm over it now. This means going back to work. Ugh.
7. Next Sunday, we're going to the baseball game. It should be tons of fun... we haven't gone since my favorite player left the team. I'm still pissed about that.
8. Ummm... study, study, study? Did I mention studying?
9. I'll probably go work out some. I haven't done that in a while. And my school schedule isn't conducive to me going to the step classes this semester. I'm a little bummed about that. Ok, a lot bummed.
10. Scrapbooking. Someone from my mom's work asked me to do a scrapbook for their 18 month old son from birth. He's the CUTEST little thing. I did the Halloween page a week or so ago... and made him a pumpkin. SO cute! I'm sure I'll work on that some.


PS - Michael brought me back THE cutest little souvenir from his mancation. It's salt and pepper shakers of two little ceramic cats smooching (there are magnets on their lips). There are a TON of 'inside' things with this gift. That's the best part about it! AND he brought back snow globes for my sisters. How sweet is he?!
PPS - I got all the stuff to make the 2008 scrapbook for Michael and I. I can't WAIT to start it! I've got to get the other one done first though. Argh!

Ahhhh... so in love :) and so happy! <3

Oh, and I tried frozen grapes for the first time this weekend because Rae had some in the freezer... and I love them! Who would have thought?!

Hawaii

Oh, heavenly Hawaii. We had SUCH a blast with Carrie and her husband. I couldn't have asked for a better time, and no, I didn't want to come back just yet. It was nothing short of a wonderful trip.

Here are some of the pics...


This was on the North Shore from a cliff... it was astonishingly beautiful!


This was a small waterfall that we hiked into. You can't tell from this picture (but from those that we were in) that this thing was ginormous...


This is the view of the ocean if you turned around standing at the waterfall.


And a HUGE turtle :) They were EVERYWHERE. Along with little sand crabs. I'd post the picture of them but you wouldn't be able to find it!

Michael was the sweetest thing ever while we were on vacation. It's like nothing mattered in the world except for us... no work or friends or anything... just us... and I must say, it was a really good feeling. :)