Saffie!

There she is. Miss America :) That's my little Saffie right there... She's about 4 1/2 human years old (not sure how old that makes her in kitty years). And yes, Saffie is her real name. It stems from Safron (something about the stars?) and no, I didn't name her... my old roommate did!

I just got her back from having to leave her at a friends house for two weeks and boy is she thankful to be back with her mom! She doesn't leave my side, purrs 24/7, and wants to be petted in my lap all the time. This is a complete 180 from the kitty I knew before... the one that was content just being in the same room as you - no need to touch her whatsoever.

I love her! (she's got an email address and a myspace, too. Haha!)

If only there was another way...

My wit has subsided. My life is upside down from all of these life-changing events I'm putting myself through. Do I feel like writing in this blog? Not so much. Do I have things I want to say? Absolutely. But I feel like they should be kept private for the moment... just until I figure everything else out.

Life will be great once again, I just know it will. I am desperate for this change to go ahead and happen... because I feel like May 2008 is going to be a waiting game.

I wish Carrie were here and not in Hawaii with her husband. She and I have so much fun together. I also wish all of these hard decisions I had to make weren't so hard and that I didn't have to forfeit some happiness to make them happen. If only there was another way...

Advertising

As you may or may not know, my career is in the marketing field. I happened to end up here by accident but completely love it! So I'm aware of all of these things like how important ad placement is... as well as what's around it.

The other day, I was on my way to work and saw a particular billboard. In my swanky city, these 'rotating' billboards, if you will, have been popping up all over town. It's almost like a giant tv screen that changes ads every 5 or so seconds.

So... driving by... stopped at the light, I get to see more than just the one advertisement as I zoom by. First... a lovely billboard for some assisted recovery place. It reads...

"Addicted? Depressed? We're here to help!" etc etc - you know, with the normal girl looking out of the window solemnly like it's the end of the world or something?

5 seconds later...

"1800 Reposado Tequila" with a picture of the bottle and their cool new "drink me!" campaign.

Hahahaha... does anyone else see the irony? And how horrible it is that those companies paid ALL of that money for THAT ad space (that ad is along a main artery through the city and in a really nice section of town so it HAD to be expensive) just to be shafted and put next to an ad that counters the message you're trying to get across.

Hilarious!

Negotiations

It's settled. I move (again) on the 31st of May into the house I nanny at (clever name for them to come later as all clever-ness has left my brain for the day). I start school June 9th... and all of this is going to be a great big huge challenge.

After rough negotiations, it has been decided that I will pick up the kids from school/daycare once a week and sit one night a weekend, two weekends a month for a total of 8 babysitting days a month. Considering the $60 to $80 they pay me a night for babysitting before... I'd say I'm pretty much making my rent in babysitting a month, but that's alright. I don't have to deal with roommates and I might get to keep my cat there, too!

It's coming at me all too fast. Yikes!!!

Oh the things people do that amaze you

I've seen some weird things in my day... but things just keep getting weirder and weirder around here. I've been very discreet and mysterious about where it is I actually live (and other details as to who I am) obviously for a reason. This one just might give it away, though! Haha.

Last night, Michael and I were driving to Six Flags to meet up with some friends. We took a random route that my gps so kindly gave to me - all these back roads through the city to get around the horrendous traffic. We went through uber-rich neighborhoods as well as some 'not so nice' neighborhoods. At a cross section where a lot of cars were stopped... I looked to my left and saw the most redneck thing I've seen in a while.

Apparently this particular couple just purchased a go-kart dune buggy type thing. Your everyday average person would find a friend with a truck to go pick it up. Oh no, my friends, they tied it to the back WINDSHIELD of their late 1990's Thunderbird to get it home. HILARIOUS!

Michael and I cracked up for the longest about it.

This morning, when I was driving home from his house, I was sitting next to a gold-ish Nissan Maxima who kept inching forward at the light (hello! It's not going to change any quicker!) so I glanced over there. I shit you not... on the dash of the Maxima was a replica of THAT maxima sitting in a display box.

Yes... ON the dash of this MAXIMA... there was a REPLICA of their car. Ok, ok... let's back up a second. A Maxima is a great car to drive. It's got 4 doors, a little bit of horsepower, and they look alright, too. It's no lamborghini... or porsche... or bentley... or benz... It's a freakin 28,000 dollar Maxima. (in gold, nonetheless)

I could see if you loved your car that much, maybe getting a replica for your bedroom nightstand so you could smooch it before you went to bed at night. (hahah, yah right!) but not ON the DASH while you're driving it!

Some people just crack me up. I must say, I laughed really hard at this one!!

Making Memories of Us

Ok, Ok... this post goes against everything I've ever said about my music preferences. I don't like to listen to country music. Period. There is one exception, though. Keith Urban is such a great singer and his songs aren't so much twangy country - but pop country.

So here you have it. Michael and I talked about this song last night - and it's exactly how I feel about him. <3



I'm gonna love you... like nobody loves you... I'll earn your trust making memories of us... I'm gonna be here for you from now on... this you know somehow... you've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now... and I'm gonna make you this promise... if there's life after this... I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss.... ;)

It's just such a sweet song. Hooray for having the best boyfriend in the world!

Saving the day...one visit at a time...

I'm not going to lie... things are rough right now. All these monstrous changes are happening in my life and I am the cause of it all. I want to go back to school. My lease ended and I needed a new place to live. I have to give my cat away to someone - that's a whole post in itself.

So, needless to say... today's not been all that great. And neither was yesterday, in fact. These shitty days will probably continue for the next couple of weeks until I get settled and in to a place where I'm comfortable.

Today's been the brunt of the anxiety attacks. And when I get these anxiety attacks, nothing is there to stop me from thinking crazy - off the wall - preposterous ideas about things that have to do with me. For instance: "Omg... you could get in a car crash and die tomorrow" or "Why isn't Michael calling me? It's only been 10 minutes since I left him" and just really weird stuff [yah, I know, it's fun being inside my head at these times. Let me tell ya!].

So tonight, I expected that Michael would come over because of an earlier conversation we'd had. He said it wasn't a done-deal because he had stuff to do... and if he didn't finish that stuff, then, well, he couldn't come. I talked to him several times - waited to eat dinner until after he called just to make sure he didn't want to eat together, you know, just the normal stuff we do together. Each time I talked to him, his visit was pushed off more and more. I have to give him some credit, though. We talked on the phone for an hour and a half... and I don't have a bed set up - nor do I have hot water here yet. (ah, the joys of moving)

I told him how I felt - that the world was crashing down and I needed him to come save me, perhaps. I was honest and told him that I just really needed him here with me. And of course I pulled the "well, I come to your house a lot" - which, I admit, was a very low blow, indeed, and tried to pull it back into my mouth just as soon as it left. To which he firmly corrected me and told me it wasn't about that at all.

It was about him being tired.

Hrmph. Immediate thought (though I was careful enough to keep that thought INSIDE my head at that point) "why, if I can drop everything I have just to come be with you when you say you need me, can you not do the same?" Oh yes. That's exactly the selfish thought that went through my head. I can tell you why, though. Because that is exactly how I was treated in the past. No one wanted to lift a finger for me - even though i'd given them the world.

Thinking it was almost just as bad as saying it. There were some other things i'd said... like "If it's too big of a hassle, then don't worry about it" or "If you're tired, then I understand"... which, I would. If he's tired, then he's tired. Our conversation continued for a little while longer, then he said he'd call me right back.

[Don't get the wrong idea, here, we were talking about these things and most certainly not arguing. I, admitedly was in a ridiculous mood and completely dispised my attitude at the time.]

[My cell phone rings like sonar. It's really weird but I kinda like it. So for me to say "ring, ring" wouldn't do it justice. Imagine, if you will, a sonar sound...]

"Ring, ring!"

Michael: "Hey, you've got shampoo, right? And toothpaste?"
Me: "You're coming over!?"
Michael: "Yes. I know you need me right now"
Me: "I know i'm being really selfish but this is just a lot of stuff at once. Are you sure you want to come?"
Michael: "It's ok to be selfish sometimes... at least you were honest with me about your feelings."

Halelujah.... he's on his way :)

And THAT, my friends, is a keeper!

10 Things I love about moving.

Sense the sarcasm. Please!
1. You find new muscles you didn't even know you had.
2. You're unable to take a "good" shower in the morning so you look ratty all day. (If Michael still loves me after that, I know it's real! haha)
3. Gas is SO freaking expensive. Actually, Saturday was the day it was most expensive. I bought about 35 gallons that day. And my car was still on E where I left it the day before.
4. Stairs. Ugh.
5. Packing until 5 am only to wake up and move at 9 am.
6. Packing.
7. New Roommates.
8. Not being able to find anything because you put it in a box where you "knew you'd remember" where it was.
9. Changing addresses at every institution you belong to. You forget how many that is until you try to do all of this.
10. Cleaning. Yah, the new place you're moving in to is spic-n-span... but the old place, there's dust you didn't even know about.

I'm sure the list continues on... but that's it for now. If you've got to move any time in the near future, I feel for ya!!!

Jealousy... is takin over me...

Not really. I think it's a song. Maybe? Anyway.

I must say... I'm doing REALLY well (MUCH better than I have with any boyfriend before) with Michael's exes. Some of them are still around because of various reasons (before you criticize, just trust me that they're significant reasons). They're not around in that sense... he just has to keep in touch with some of them because of, well, I'm not getting into that.

So. Tonight, surfing around on myspace, I saw something that initially made me jump (it was nothing, really) but it was one of those things where I had to stop myself and say "girl. Really?" cause I was SO overreacting.

I'm very proud of myself for not being bothered by things like that with him. For instance, the other day we sat at lunch and he had to place a phone call to one of them to get something straightened out with the bank (LONG story) and Rocky's papers. I gritted my teeth for a while, thought really nice thoughts, and then it was over. See? Harmless!

I have every right to feel the way I feel because two previous exes were capsized by THEIR exes... and I was the one that got cheated on. Hrm. Go figure. But I'm doing better with it and trust Michael more than any other guy I've ever dated.

Woo-hoo! This means I'm growing up! :)

I <3 Michael and he <3's me... and that means a whole WORLD of difference to me!


[oh, and JUST to clarify... Michael's not his REAL name... Duh!!]

Crazy Busy

Oh, I've been oh-so-crazy busy. This weekend is moving weekend. I'm trying to settle bills, etc. as well as play collections agent. And a whole slew of other things.

Life is about to change drastically for me - and with that comes a lot of stress and anxiety about everything. Surprisingly enough, I'm doing great with all of it - not letting any of it bother me whatsoever.

Ironically, here's my horoscope for today:

Here is your horoscope
for Thursday, April 10:

Let someone else handle all the tiny details today -- you've got bigger fish to fry. Somehow, you need to get a handle on the long-range plans for your family or workplace pretty soon.

Hmmm... I don't believe in all this nonsense, but sometimes it's just spot on!

Update on the 140 lb. goal... I'm not progressing much at this point but I haven't gained anything back either. I topped out at 148 - waivering between 145 and 150 on a daily basis. I'd consider that a good job ;) I'm still working towards it, just not seeing the pound results as quickly as before. Hooray for muscles!

It's my Birthday!!!

I wait all year long for this day to come (every single year). And it's finally here :)

Happy Birthday to me!!!!

Homework bound...

I'm sure you read my post about going back to school full time.

The original plan was to go back this fall, take out a loan, etc. etc... but it's not quite panning out that way.

I registered for classes yesterday. They start June 9. Exactly 8 weeks from Monday. This is all happening so quick, it's ridiculous. I've got plans every weekend up until then... birthday stuff, moving, an awards show i'm on the board of, a wedding, a company picnic... and a whole lot more.

Amber said it best... "you're going to feel SO free once you're only going to school and not juggling it with everything else." I most certainly agree. :)

I don't think I'll feel absolutely free - because I'll still have to do homework and projects and papers. I'll just feel better knowing that I can actually accomplish something. Such a great feeling :)

On a side note, my great-grandmother went into the hospital as I was leaving for San Diego. My mom called to tell me the news really quick. Thankfully, Michael had a flight to Dallas at the same time - so he was with me and could give me a much needed hug. She's a-ok but had some heart troubles at the time.

I think going to school will allow me to have more time to spend with my family... especially those who might not be around much longer. :)

Returned Check

AH... gotta love coming back from vacation... snuggling the cat, all the laundry there is to do, checking the mail...

I stopped by the mailbox on my way in and grabbed all the mail. Bills... junk mail... a letter from Wachovia... Hrm... a letter from Wachovia? What could that be?

None other than a returned check from the lovely ex-roommate... from February's bills. So not only does he owe me the money he wasn't going to give me, the fucker drained his checking account and didn't have enough to cover the $150 he wrote for February.

NOW he owes me the $150 from Feb, the $30 returned check fee, AND the money from March. He's going to be much farther in from court fees if he keeps this up. We're now up to over $300.

Asshole.