Growth

Today, I grew a little bit. As a person.

I took what someone had to tell me at face value. I believed them. I understood exactly what it is they had to say. And I get it.

Not only am I a day older... I'm a day wiser.

Thank you to two unexpected messengers. ;)

PS.

I can't wait for fall....

For Grilled cheese and tomato soup, baking (ohhh how I love to bake in the fall), crisp air, camping/hiking weather, soup!, pumpkin spice (ohhhh yummm)....

It all sounds delightful :)

The Boy

My first week at the new job was a lot. It was exhilarating and exhausting all in one. I'm really excited about it, actually. This company has its ish together and I was actually handed some marketing materials when I arrived (can I tell you how many companies - BIG COMPANIES - that don't have that?!). It made my day. I can say I made the right decision to join this team.

This week has also been full of the boy I told you about here. We went out on the boat last Sunday, hung out Monday night, he cooked dinner for me on Wednesday, and invited me over when I got done with Art class with Mrs. Artsy on Friday night. That's a lot of seeing each other for one week.

He's extremely sweet... keeping me guessing but still reassuring what his feelings are towards me. He says things like "you know, you're pretty amazing. I might just have to keep you around." It makes me smile and think about what it is that he wants.... which is where I get skeptical.

Yes, skeptical.

This amazing guy who has his shit together, who is witty and smart, attractive and manly, and treats me very well... I'm skeptical about him. What. The. Fuck?

As part of the 'me' that I am, I over-analyze these things. I think about my past and what kinds of things my exes have said before they screwed me over. I think about their actions, their so-called 'feelings' and all the things they did before they cheated on me or told me that they really didn't feel that way.

It takes everything wonderful that the boy has said or done and puts it in a little compartment and lets it rot there because I don't necessarily 'believe' him. How fucked up is that? I'm taking very careful steps... very planned out, precise words and actions. I can't just let go emotionally.

So, here I am. This wonderful guy... who is completely 'in' to me... and I'm having trouble letting him in.

Maybe this is a good thing, being that it's only been a month and a half that we've been dating. I dunno.

So... there. You've listened to me blurt out everything that's on my mind. Once again ;)

To give you an update on the anxiety - it's gone again, thank God! I cannot tell you how horrible I feel when that aspect of ridiculousness pops up again. So, hooray!

oh, and ps. I found an apartment!! Now, I just need to find a roommate!

10 Things [contributing to my big A]

Even more anxiety? No way. Ugh. I'm so over it!

1. Friday was my last day with the consulting company. It was bittersweet, but we went to happy hour after we met up for our 'wrapping everything up' meeting. Turns out, the wine bar we were at was filming an episode of NFL Wives (VH1). I'm not sure anyone watches that show, well, maybe Carrie, but I'll be one one of the episodes in the background. Kind of exciting!

2. Monday, I start the new job. I'm really excited about it - getting to meet new people, working on something new and something stable, and just the excitement of a new job overall. Now if this anxiety would just go away, I'll be in tip-top shape :)

3. I'm also trying to find a place to move to. My roomie here is moving to El Paso for 6 months with his job, so he can't move with me (sad!) but I'll be able to find another roommate and hopefully it'll work out as well as this one has. All of the whole finding a place, moving, and getting another roommate - well, that's stressful. ALSO needing to sell some extra things that I have lying around. If I get enough, might get a new living room set or TV or something. Who knows?!

4. This month, I'll have another credit card paid off (thank god). I have been pouring money into those cards and it's finally starting to show.

5. I have been dating a boy... and he's really quite fantastic. We've gone on 6 dates, so I guess it's alright for me to tell you about him. I don't like blogging about all of them, because, well, there have been a lot of 1st and 2nd dates but nothing beyond that... and, I dunno, it would have been great to write it all down, but seeing that many stories that come to an abrupt end is depressing.

Anyway, this boy and I have great chemistry together - I think the challenge is mutual (it is rare that I find someone, much less a guy, that challenges me) and we have a lot of fun together. Tall, ridiculously cute, and he likes me... who would have thought? I'm just trying to be extremely patient - and go with the flow. I don't need ANOTHER thing changing in my life right now ;)

6. Tonight, I scrapbooked a few pages in my Italy album. It was nice to pull that stuff out again. My mom had it out while she was here, so it was a little inspirational. I still have a long way to go, but it's progress nontheless.

7. I walked into a bridal boutique this AM to get measured for Rae's wedding in October. Turns out, the lead time to order this dress is 10-12 weeks... and I don't have that. Shit! Rush ordering makes it available only days before the wedding, and I'll already be in ATL at that point... start adding up the bill for rush and shipping now. I tried the dress on anyway - and, wouldn't you know... the sample they had at the boutique fit me perfectly... AND it was the right color for the wedding. The sash wasn't the "banana" color she wanted, but it's a creme, and since I'm the Maid of Honor, she thought it might look okay. What are the frickin' odds? $130 bucks later, scratch that off the list!!

8. I booked my tickets home for the wedding the other day. $190 round trip isn't bad. :) Now, just need a rental car and I'm set. Bachelorette party plans are also in the works. That feeling of 'accomplishment' is awesome.

9. Last night I went out with some friends that I hadn't gone out with in a long time. It was a fantastic time, as usual, and it made me realize that I have been sheltering myself with Fran. Since she and I aren't really hanging out much anymore (for other reasons), it was kind of refreshing to know that I could still go out and have a good time with some other people. I was drunk. Really, really drunk, though. Eh. What's a few drunk texts anyway ;)

10. Ready for what's next. Ready to shed some excess baggage (or so to speak) and enter the next phase of my life. This job is the first step in that direction. I'm stoked. (oh, and Carrie is moving so much closer than Hawaii in less than a month!!!!! OMG, SO excited!!)

That's it for now. Now do you see why I've got so much anxiety!? ;)

Crazy life

Anxiety comes in many different forms. I wouldn't say that I "suffer" from it - I just deal with it. But when things get like they are right now, I have anxiety attacks... my head spins with thoughts in all different directions, it affects my concentration, my breathing, my well-being, and turns from a mental into a physical feeling.

It's scary.

But It doesn't have me, I have it. There's a difference.

Breathing helps, family helps, friends help, something stable helps. Oy. Just ready for all this change to be over.

This past week, it's been great having my family in town. I've been go-go-go for the past 4 weeks now... in DC, back for a few days before they came to visit. It's been a lot of fun.

We went to a waterpark, a painting class, the pool, good mex food, the Ft. Worth Stockyards, shopping, thai food, sushi... we did it all. I think my sisters had a great time.

Now, the craziness dwindles, I wind down my work with the consulting company, ramp it up for my new job on Monday.... and then go-go-go again.

Life is crazy. It just is.

Hippity Hop... and you don't stop...

My, oh my, where does the time go?

DC was a lot of fun... I went to see the Allen Ginsberg exhibit and I was really glad I did. Such an amazing collection of photographs. One thought while I was looking through the gallery, we don't typically see the way people lived - in reality - during the 60's thru the 90's. We think of things today, like packaging, and other consumer goods as very vibrant with lots of colors to catch your eyes on the shelves. Cigarette packages, cereal boxes, even mugs or chinese takeout - everything was so plain, so simple. I enjoyed that aspect of the shots he took.

I also really enjoyed his take on life outside his kitchen window. His thoughts on the world, written below on the photographs above, were interesting.

I also went to the sculpture garden, the National Geographic Museum where the DaVinci exhibit was displayed, and a few other places. I only had a half day on Sunday to check anything out because I worked so much. I literally got 4-6 hours of sleep a night because I was at the office or in the hotel. Crazy busy with my project.

While in the hotel, I rented a few movies, one of which My Sister's Keeper. I cried. Sobbed, actually. I can't remember a time where I've cried that hard to a film. I could completely relate to Cameron Diaz's fight for her daughter's life. That's how, I have a feeling, I'll love my children one day... with such a passion.

The project was a success, and frankly, I'm burnt out on PR work. I've always known that branding and marketing for one brand has been my niche, but I didn't really have a choice with this project and the Consulting company.

Speaking of, I did have a talk with my boss and accepted one of the offers - for a chain of sandwich shops. I'll be the Marketing Manager and focus on Local Store Marketing across the US. August 9th is the day :) Super excited about it!

Last night, I went to a book club meeting (my first, ever) and we discussed The Unbearable Lightness of Being. It was a good book - and I was only halfway through (was invited to read it only a week and a half ago!) but it was a really intense, awesome book. The next is A Reliable Wife. We'll see how this one goes!

My family comes to town tomorrow - it'll be good to see them! I just don't know what I'm going to do with them quite yet. I know we'll go to the zoo, and we have a painting class lined up for Monday night. I'm sure we'll hit the pool and do a little exploring for them... I just hope they don't get bored! My little sisters will probably be fascinated with all that Dallas has to offer... but I haven't done any of that yet. You know, explore those things.

I'm pushing away a friend who recently got her third strike. I've known she's been a questionable friend for a little while now, but I really think she's shitty now. It's hard to do - especially when my friend base is not huge... but I'm ok with that. I'd rather surround myself with no one at all than someone who acts the way she does.

C'est la vie, right? ;)

Anyway, that's the 'me' update now. There's more, but you'll have to wait for that...

Decisions, decisions

This week is a week of seismic proportions when it comes to decision-making.

3 job offers
An awesome trip to DC for 10 days

I think the job thing takes the cake. I really hope I'm making the right decision with this.... and I hope everything works out well. The worst part will be to tell my boss I'm leaving. I'm not sure if she's going to be happy about it. She'll be happy for me, but I doubt she'll be happy for herself, if you know what I mean.

So, I'm going to DC for 10 days with work... and my mom and sisters come out here for a week after that. July is pretty much done for me :)

It's decision-making time! Wish me luck!!

4th-O-July

Happy 4th of July, everyone... I've never been a fan of this holiday. In fact, it's always some sort of clusterfuck associated with this "weekend"....

1. Watching fireworks is always a nightmare. Traffic is insane and it takes hours to get 2 miles away and hours to get the 2 miles back.
2. People are just weird on the 4th. They seem "cooler" on Memorial Day or Labor Day weekend... you know, more relaxed and all.
3. It's almost as though you're expected to want to see fireworks. I mean, watching them every year, at baseball games, Stone Mountain, at Disney, all over the place. They lose their luster.
4. You can never seem to stay with a group. It's hard enough to keep up with your own shit wherever you are, much less other people and their shit.

This wasn't intended to be a rant about the 4th, just the reasons I don't like this holiday in general.

Anyway, Happy 4th to those of you that like this freakin' holiday. Hope you have fun blowin' stuff up!

Remember Me

There's a list in my blackberry of movies to rent. Unlike Carrie, I don't go to the theater, pretty much ever, to watch a movie. I suppose I would on a date or whatever, but I consider it a waste of money. (especially since the creation of redbox)

Anyway, I have waited to watch this movie Remember Me for quite some time. I remember seeing the trailer a while ago and adding it to the list. I thought "eh, this might be a good one" and didn't think anything else about it.

Fast forward to last Thursday night. I sat on my couch gripped by the story, not wanting it to end. Such a powerful movie, such a compelling message, such a gripping and unpredictable ending. I sat with my mouth agape.

If there's any movie that you see this year, see this one. It's worth more than the dollar I paid for the redbox.

Stupid boys.

I am ballsy. I've always been some sort of ballsy, but what I did last Thursday night was incredibly ballsy. Here's the story.

I went on a date with number not even sure anymore. (yah, don't ask) He's a cool kid, met him through one of Fran's guys and he is successful, fun, and interested. So, hey, why not?

So, he asks if I want to watch the basketball game mid-day last Thursday. First of all, I didn't know there was a basketball game, much less it was THE basketball game to end the season. We met up for dinner and headed to a burger bar (with burgers, beer, and TV's) afterward. I sat down, ordered a beer and started watching the game.

About 10 minutes into the game, an insanely hot guy walks in to the bar. The best way for me to describe his hotness is Jason Wade, who is amazingly delicious. As I did a double, and possibly triple take, he smiled at me. I melted in my chair.

So, here I am, on a date with one guy and in walks Mr. Hottie McHotterson. What the hell am I supposed to do? He sits on the other side of Date guy. So, now, not only do I have to sit there and know he's in the same room, I have to look at him whenever I talk to the guy I'm on a date with. What a cluster.

Date Guy (DG) goes to the bathroom, so here's his chance....

Hottie: "Which team are you going for?" in this sexy European accent
Me: [holy shit, hot AND European to boot?!.... fans self] "Eh, I'm a fair-weathered fan. I'll pick this team for this game but don't really care about basketball in general"

So we continue to talk until DG comes back from the bathroom. Then, Hottie minds his own business again. This happens for three hours straight, and thank God DG broke the seal cause he went to the bathroom 10 times in that time span.

The game was almost over, I ran to the bathroom. As I came out, there he stood, waiting by the men's bathroom.

Me: "It was nice to meet you!"
Hottie: "Uhh.. you too. Ummm, ciao."

He acted nervous, like he wasn't sure how to get my number. In all fairness, I'd been trying to figure out how to get his number for the past three hours without ruining my date.

DG and I leave, I get into my car... pick up my phone.

Google tells me the number to the bar and I call the bartender, tell them I want to give Hottie my number, and he says he'd be happy to. Sweet! Ballsy, right?

I get home, and a few minutes later - there's a text from him. We text for a little while, he wants to see me again that night (but I couldn't cause I was flying out at 6am and had to be up at 4) or possibly that weekend. At 4 am, I started getting more texts... he was 'jealous' of the guy I was with, was relieved when I said it wasn't my boyfriend. (broken english through text because of the language barrier) Among other really nice compliments and lots of flirting.

We decided that I'd call him when I got back on Monday and we'd go out to dinner sometime this week. Score!

Monday comes and goes, I get a text on Tuesday, setting up a date for Thursday - and all is well.

Thursday, he asks if we can go out Friday night instead, fine with me. He ends up texting later asking what I ended up doing, etc.

Fast forward to 5am this morning, only a few hours.

I get a text message from someone who says she's his wife and they've been having a rough two weeks - and she found some texts in his phone and now wants to know what the hell is going on.

Holy. Shit. Are you fucking kidding me?!

Wow.

So, I tell her.

Men are absolutely ridiculous. It makes me want to never get married, and completely skews my vision of trust. I wish this were the only example I have... but there are many, many more.

Argh.

10 [minus two] Things.... another update

It's been a while since I've written. I know this. So many whirlwind things have been going on... 10 Things, shall we?

1. Carrie came last week for a week. I didn't want her to go - we had SO much fun while she was here. We didn't get to go to Austin, but each night was a success anyway. I can't wait to hear if she decides to move here or not.... it'll be great for us to live in the same city again.

2. I have come to the conclusion that boys are weird. Not just weird, weird. But SUPER weird. They'll be ALL about you one minute, then drop off the face of the earth the next. I know I'm not supposed to be in a relationship right now (otherwise, I'd be in one) but geeze. Boys are just super weird. That's all I can say.

3. The job thing is really starting to ramp up. I have now had 2 interviews and am waiting on two more. I got a call yesterday saying there is a solid offer in the works with one and I should see it in writing next week. I don't know which direction to go... and it's a HUGE career move with whichever one I take. *sigh* hopefully I'll make the right decision.

4. I did end up going to the Greg Laswell show, as mentioned in the last post. It's a long story, but I'm glad I did. He's such a great singer. You should really go check out his music.

5. I have been SO super stoked about Kaskade and the Electric Daisy Carnival this weekend. I'm not going to get to go now, and that's a HUGE bummer. I know he'll be back, but I'm still sad I'm missing an opportunity to see him.

6. I'm going home this weekend. There is some family "ish" going on that needs me there. I'm not really telling anyone (friends) I'm going because I'll feel guilty for not hangin out.

7. It's hotter than hell out here in D-town. It's only 8:30 and it's already 81 degrees. My tan looks nice, so that's the up-side. But geebus, it's hot!

8. I was reconnected with Sam last week. I ran into his sister on a patio out here, really weird. After THIS incident, I thought I'd never be speaking to him again. I got a phone call from him about an hour later, apologizing for the way things were left between us earlier. I talked to him for a minute, then told him I needed to go because I was with my friends. He text and asked if I would forgive him. Eh, not so much. I brushed it off.

That's all I've got - and that's a lot.

Today's post brought to you by Greg Laswell

He's a pretty good singer. He's in Dallas tonight. I (did) have plans to see him but am not going now. :(

I ordered his CD from Amazon and got it in the mail today. I would highly suggest you go check it out.

That is all :)

Introspection

As of late, I've been partying. A lot. It has to do with my friendship with Fran, that's for sure. I want to settle in to some dating relationships, but I have way too much fun. So, for me, I'm going to discuss several aspects of my life in the following paragraphs. Hopefully you'll read and offer up something good in the advice arena. If not, oh well.

Friendships
The friendships I've made in Texas have been solid, to an extent. I feel like I have good friends here, but they're not the best in the world. My bestie lives in Hawaii and I don't have much face-to-face with her, but she's there for me, she doesn't judge, and she's an amazing person. Fran, on the other hand, is my partner in crime. And crime it is. We're a lot a like, but she pushes the envelope farther than I do. Personality differences, I suppose. I wish there was a way to be completely anonymous about stories she and I have. If so, I'd write day and night. Some good, some bad, some scandalous, and some absolutely ridiculous. Book material, that good. I'm jaded when it comes to friendships at the moment. Opening up about this is not going to be my forte.

Relationships
There are many guys in my life at the moment. They're all incorporated into the perfect man. This always happens when I'm single... I keep a roster of a few that sit on the bench. I call them in to play when they're needed and it's a win/win situation, for me at least. One is my go-to for dates and social outings, another for fun outdoor activities, another for awesome conversation. Pretty soon, one will start to stand out and all the others will fade into the background.

Work
I've written many posts on this subject and nothing has changed. Right now, I have 4 options/offers on the table for my taking. I just have to make the ridiculously hard decision on which company and position it's going to be. This is one of those career-defining moments. I hope I make the right one...

Roommate
I'm actually incredibly happy with my roomie right now. He's become better since he got rid of the girl he was dating. Maybe I was just annoyed by all of that, or maybe it just changed him slightly. Who knows? He's really chill, doesn't invade my space... so what if he eats all the eggs? ;) haha!

Travel
I'm itching. Severely. I would love nothing more than to just jaunt around Europe for months and months, to live there, to do something fun like that. I'm talking still with the company I used to work for on the project out there. We'll see if that happens. If I get an offer to go there, I will hop on a plane tomorrow. You only get those types of opportunities once in a lifetime.

Family
I miss them dearly. My little sisters are so cute. They're learning to have better conversations on the phone. One of them likes to tell me jokes and the other one is learning how to leave voicemails. Absolutely adorable. I can't wait until they're teenagers - just a few more years. They're coming to visit at the end of the summer. I cannot wait for this. It's going to be so much fun. Now, I just need to get my brother over here....

That's about it, I guess. I'm feeling pretty somber at the moment. More apathetic than usual... but that's alright, I suppose. We all go through these moments in our lives. Big decision times, lots of crazy-ness.... I guess that's why it's called an introspection.

Now you know. ;)

4 fun things... before I go.

1. Kaskade will be here on June 19. Omg, the anticipation.
2. Carrie will be here even sooner than that - on Monday. We're going to have an amazing week.
3. I've been running a lot lately (not this week, but previous ones). I've run so much, it baffles even me. Kudos.
4. I have been contemplating writing a book again. I think I have a big story to tell. It just feels like an incredibly long and huge process.

In demand.

You know when you were a kiddo, and your mom said "I've had it to HERE with that..." and you knew she was serious about 'knocking it off'. Well, yah, that's where I'm at with the OG. Ms. Artsy and I jokingly say that most of the people around here are aliens because there's no way their actions or thought processes are normal and/or rational.

Anyway, there are some client projects at the CC that may come to fruition which would make it possible for me to be full time there. A few really cool, career enhancing projects to boot.

Also, as I'm sure I've said something about before... The agency we work with on the website for OG has also offered me an account management position there.

Today, I received an email from a restaurant chain with an "are you interested" and a job description attached. It'd be working directly under the Director of Marketing and sounds like it would be right up my alley. I'm going to talk to her just to see what it's about and to keep my options open. Again, it looks like I'm still "in demand" which is great news.

Now, the only hard part would be leaving Ms. Artsy behind. Oh how I love our walks to get good coffee and her insight to life in general.

I'm just over it with the OG. I might choose to keep my silence about the daily bullshit from this place, or I might choose to open up about it. We'll see. I feel like they hire people (not referring to me) to do specific, specialized things for them yet don't trust what they do. It's really fucked up.

That's my beef for today... bittersweet, for sure.

One perfect date.

I just had one of the most romantic, storybook first dates I think I've ever heard about, much less experienced.

We went to a little Mexican place on Main St. in a tiny town between the two cities. I'd never been to this little city, but it was oh-so-cute. We ate and talked, discussed likes and dislikes, shared stories and pasts.

We then went to a small bar next door and played shuffle board. Surprisingly, I kept up really well, he only beat me by a single point. A little bit of flirty competition and a kiss.

Then, we walked down the street to another laid back place. There was a really cool historic hearse and paraphernalia on display on the walk so we checked that out. Had a few drinks at this place, and when we were leaving, decided to stop at the historic trains that were parked outside.

There were two trains, one with three full size cars that was lit on the inside... and one with two full size cars that was not lit. We sort of "broke in" (even though they were open-air) and hung out on the train car for hours. We talked, kissed, laughed... oh it was ridiculous.

He's a really awesome guy.

Then, it was time to go (WAY past my bedtime) and we started walking back to our cars. He held my hand so I could walk on the railroad tracks (so cute). There was a song playing outside of this one bakery (I'm guessing the baker is there overnight preparing for the day?). He stopped and started dancing with me. It was so adorable. I literally did not want the night to end. *sigh* :) This one goes in the books.

He asked for the second date... which will be Sunday evening when he returns from a small roadtrip to help his parents move.

I'm stoked!

10 Things... just an update

1. Yesterday, Kaskade's new CD came out. Ummm... Ah-May-ZING. It is ridiculous how he can continue to put out new albums all the time, all are different from each other, and all are absolutely delicious.

2. Today was an interesting day. As I was leaving the OG, the CFO stopped me in the parking lot and told me he wanted me there full time. I jokingly told him I wanted 100K a year... he chuckled. It's interesting, because I've heard a lot of talk about my position turning full time quickly, but haven't been officially offered anything yet. Full time was the original intent of this job anyway... hmmm.

3. I worked at CC this afternoon in the same office as my boss, which is extremely odd. I'm able to work remotely, but for project we were working on this was the best option. I didn't leave there until after 9pm tonight and I'm exhausted. I was supposed to go to one of our clients to be "introduced" but we needed to focus more on this. They want to (potentially) hire me for 20 hours a week.... we'll see. ;)

4. I did about an hour of my Rosetta Stone last night... I might do some more tonight.

5. Saffie got her first taste of Texas last night as well. She's yet to go outside here but I think she likes it. She's gained a lot of weight being inside because she doesn't get the exercise she's used to. Hopefully, with the ponds and such, she'll do well out there. It might get a little too hot though.

6. This weekend should be pretty relaxing. Fran will be out of town all weekend and I'll have it to myself. Right now, the forecast calls for rain and thunderstorms from Friday to Monday, but I hope that changes. 60% chance. Oy! I need some pool-time!!!!

7. I was craving chinese food tonight. I probably shouldn't have splurged because I've been doing really well budget-wise as well as diet-wise... but it's been a long and stressful week! I have had the urge to work out every day this week but something or the other has kept me from it!!

8. I've set up a nice little schedule to pay off my debt. It involves about $1000 a month in payments, but I'll feel oh-so-free once I do it. :) I may even try to speed up the process by getting a weekend gig. If I could even make an extra $500 a month by working just Saturdays, that would be awesome!

9. The roomie is a LOT less annoying than he used to be. I think it has something to do with him breaking up with his girlfriend. She was ridiculous. He's much more fun without her :)

10. I. Am. Exhausted. Yet, I love what I do and continue to have that drive I need... it's such a great feeling knowing that I made the right decision in life. And to think, I made it at 21 years old. ;) So happy....

Independence

There comes a point every so often that I just need a break. A break from the world, a break from people pestering me for this and that, a break from my friends. I just need to be me - go somewhere, experience something, do something - all on my own.

I have been working non-stop. I volunteered yesterday (amazing experience, by the way) and want to do more. I want to do my Rosetta Stone and become fluent. There are a lot of to-do's on my list and they don't involve the random shit I've been occupying my time doing. Being social has its disadvantages.

My mood has changed to include some bitterness. I don't understand the need for constant contact from friends. I feel you should be an addition to someone's life, not center yourself around it. I feel like that's how a few of my friends want me to treat them right now and I don't have the time or energy for it.

I want to go back to Italy and just be. I want to roam the streets, meet the friendly people, and soak in the sunshine.

As much as I'd like to work for the CC full time right now, I feel like I need to get out of the country, explore, and take an international position I've spoken of before.

I suppose the real question is why do I feel the need to get away so much? I felt the need to get out of Atlanta and move to a new city. I now feel the need to go bigger.

It's all part of my independence. It's all part of who I am.

I don't think that's going to change.

10 [crazy] Things so far this week. It's only Wednesday.

1. Monday was very uneventful. I talked to Number 12 for a little while. He's a good kid. I also ran 3 miles like I posted earlier.
2. Yesterday, that was a different story. I had anxiety all morning. Things weren't going well at OG. Inconsistency kills me when I try to work on a brand. What's worse than inconsistency? No desire to ever become consistent. Yah.
3. I showed up to OG at the ass crack of dawn because my boss called a meeting. He didn't show up until 9 am. Furious.
4. The last blog post certainly happened (and I just noticed that it was posted at 9:11 pm last night. Freaky.)
5. I saw Lie To Me, episodes 1 and 2 last night and I believe I am now hooked. Awesome show!
6. Because I couldn't get in to the gym, I roller bladed for 3 miles and Ran about 2 miles. It. Felt. Awesome.
7. This morning, I had the big launch meeting for my project at OG. My boss is, ummm, yah. He's outta control. He suggested that we upload Porn to our site so we get more hits. UNprofessional. (the actual conversation was much more shocking/embarrassing, but that's the jist.)
8. My Rosetta Stone en francais arrived today. Hooray!
9. I ran another 2 miles today and worked out in the gym. Starting to take a nice shape :) Hooray!
10. Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

Excellent First Responder

This evening, after scouring the Earth for a Mother's Day present for my amazing mother (didn't find anything, in case you're wondering), I returned home to put on gym attire and head to the gym.

Funny thing is, it was 3 minutes after 6pm (when the office closes) and I don't have a key card. Damn. Surely, I thought, there has to be some people in there. There is always that one girl who takes up the only elliptical that forces me to run on the treadmill instead. Much to my dismay, no one was there. Not even her.

I waited around for a minute to see if anyone would be coming soon - then took the long way around one of the ponds back to my apartment. I wanted to go Roller Blading.

I grabbed my gear and headed out the door.

I turned onto the main street - and then right again on to a much busier one - headed for the highway. There's a "trail" by the OG that looks suitable for Roller Blading (well, it looks freshly paved with concrete - not asphalt - and appeared to be free of major debris) so I was going to check that out.

As I come up to an intersection before the highway, three of four lanes of cars are stopped and one didn't have any cars in it. A white SUV comes flying through the center. Just at the same time, a silver SUV is pulling into the wal-mart on the corner.

And there it was.

I was seven or more cars back. Surely someone will stop and call the police.

Between the three lanes, at least 30-40 cars had to have passed. Not one stopped to ask if they were okay. Onlookers only. Way too busy to deal with what just happened.

I'm strong. I can handle this.

I pull to the side, turn off my car and run to the woman in the car whose airbag deployed.

I open her door. Start talking to her. "Hi. My name is... Are you ok? Are you hurt anywhere?"

She looks at me and starts mumbling. She's somewhat disoriented. She doesn't know what just happened.

I go to the other car and the woman is yelling and crying furiously into her cell phone. I ask her if she is okay, if she can move, and if she's called the police yet. She's hysterical.

I calm her down and tell her that everything will be okay.

I run to my car, grab my cell phone, run to lady in the first car, call 911. I hold her hand. Tell her she will be okay.

"yes, there is an accident at this street and the freeway. two cars. one might have injuries. airbags deployed. she is talking to me but is disoriented."

I ask her to tell me her name, talk to me... tell me where she is...

"my chest, my chest. it burns."

English is a second language for both of these women.

"It's going to be okay. Stay still. They are on their way." I tell her.

"My brother, my brother. You have to call him. Call him please." Slow, faint voice. She's barely talking.

I find her phone - thrown to the opposite side of the car during impact.

"How do I find him?"

"Moussad. Call my brother. I need my brother"

I search. Dialing.

"Hi. My name is.... Your sister has been involved in an accident. She is at the corner of this main road and the highway. She is okay, but she may need to go to the hospital. You need to come here in case they take her in an ambulance."

Hang up.

"Your brother is coming. Everything is going to be okay. Tell me where you are."

"I, I. I don't know. How did this happen?" Disoriented.

I walk to the other woman, still crying, now sitting in her car. I ask again if she is alright. She was getting more and more hysterical. I asked if she needed a hug. She nodded.

I hugged her. She cried more. "I don't know what happened! What happens to cars now? I don't know what to do! I never been in accident. Never!"

Back and forth to both women. Calming one from hysterics and being sure this other one doesn't pass out, keeps talking to me.

Only one woman stopped to even asked if we called the police yet. At least 150 cars had passed in this 6 minute time frame. Only one. Pathetic people.

Three police cars, two ambulances, and a fire truck.

Paramedic approaches me.

"This woman needs medical attention. I saw the accident, stopped. I'm trained in first aid, cpr. She can talk, but is disoriented. The left side of her chest hurts, seatbelt burn, airbag deployed. She was hit at about 45mph or so, blindsided. She is coherent but doesn't know what just happened to her. I have been keeping her still and talking to me. I called her brother, he's on his way. Here is her cell phone.

This woman is hysterical and has called someone to pick her up. She tells me she's okay. She has been walking around."

"So, she's been talking to you the whole time?"

"yes."

"Did you see the accident happen?"

"yes."

"You are an excellent first responder." Smile.

"Thanks!" Smile.


Officer approaches me.

"You saw the accident?"

"yes."

"what happened?"

"Three lanes of traffic were stopped, at least 10 cars deep, I was 7 or so behind. This lane (pointing) was open, but the cars had stopped to let this SUV go and the other woman didn't see her. 45 mph or so."

"ok. this lane here? (pointing)"

"yes."

"ok, great. Thanks!"

"You're welcome. Do you need anything else from me?"

"No, thank you."

"You're welcome."

I got in my car and continued on to the trail. Roller Blading. Adrenaline rush. I have always been this way - able to act calm in ridiculously scary situations. Able to keep my cool. Able to be level-headed.

Breathe.

So proud...

I just ran 3 miles on the treadmill only slowing to a walk twice for a quick gulp of water. I am so proud of myself.

That is all. :)

Music worth checkin' out...

I take it upon myself to play "personal DJ" to a few friends of mine. I can usually tell if someone will like a song or not - kind of like your own personal pandora. I'll throw these out there with the expectation that you may or may not like it... but you'll at least have heard what I like. And if you like it, new music is always fun! ;)

Carmen Rizzo ft. Jem - Ecouter (Morgan Page Rmx)
Kerli - Walking on Air (Armin Club mix 09)
BT Feat. JES - Every Other Way (Armin remix)
M'Black - Heartbreak
Kaskade - This Is How It Goes
Maniacalm feat. Lala - I will never forget you
Alessandro Viale - Sweet Little Thing
Morgan Page - Fight for you
Armin Van Buuren/Nic Chagall - This moment
Kaskade - Fire In Your New Shoes

AAAAaaannnddd.... Kaskade has a new ablum out May 11 and is coming to see me June 19 at the Palladium Ballroom. Holla!!!

Face-d

Weird stuff happens in and around my office at OG. I mean, this was kinda weird... and Ms. Artsy who sits next to me told me about her run-ins at the Subway and AT&T around the corner... I just try to observe as much as I can for the sheer entertainment factor.

Thursday, I had to stay at the office longer than usual, which included the time where by body usually decides it's hungry. I left the office, went to subway, and proceeded to order a lovely little sandwich. While they put it in the little microwave to melt the cheese, I glanced around the place.

As I turned about 90 degrees toward the window, I noticed this lady sitting there by herself after eating her lunch. She pulls out a pocket mirror...

... and starts plucking her chin hairs.

W. T. F?!

IN public... AT the table where she just ate... ABSOLUTELY not ok.

Heavy Hitting

Right now, it’s a pivotal point in my career. The OG wants to offer me a full time position. The Consulting Co. (CC) would LOVE to offer me something full time but isn’t quite sure how she can work it at the moment. And an ad-agency that’s working on our website at the OG wants to hire me full time. I get weekly calls from recruiters who are interested in giving me project work. I’m in high demand.

In talking with my boss at CC, she offered up an awesome alternative solution. One of our major clients is a Consumer Packaged Goods company and they’re looking for a transitional person and/or someone to work 20 hours a week. It would be an amazing transition for me in my career. This would put me on a path to do what I’ve wanted to do (work on a major brand) and lead me into the big giants like Pepsi Co, Dr Pepper Snapple Group, and Frito Lay.

I also had a conversation today with the lady who is the international liaison for the worldwide portion of the company I worked for in Atlanta. I told her my project idea for the international partners and she thought it was great! She also thought it would be a good time to bring it up to the 'powers that be' because of the company's position at the moment and the timing of their next global meeting. This could be promising...

I’m on a mission.

I’m dead set on being the best I can be.

Going out and partying, living it up, blowing money on going out (and putting on the pounds), doing reckless and wild things – that’s not me. And that’s what I’ve been portrayed as to those that don’t know me well. My (not at work) friends don’t know the giving me. They don’t know the domesticated, creative, professional, talented me. All they know is the fun-loving, drunk, isn’t afraid of anything me… and that’s scary.

So, tonight, I didn't go out. I stayed in and talked to a boy. (that's so 9th grade of me...) I actually enjoyed this Friday night, too. Tomorrow, I'll work out, do some chores, and take care of some things. Hopefully it'll be sunny so I can lay by the pool a little. It'll be a nice day of relaxation before all of the heavy hitting I've got lined up for next week!

10 Things I did today

I have been incredibly productive today...

1. I got SO much done at OG this AM. Good, cause we're launching NEXT WEEK!!
2. I worked out for 45 mins. It. felt. awesome!!
3. Bought Rosetta Stone in French. I've been meaning to do this for a while but have been scared about the $600 it costs. Yesterday, my boss told me she'd pay me overtime for all the work I did last week. Thank you kind lady!!
4. Bought a frame for my diploma and one for the picture in the living room that broke during my move. Michael's had an awesome coupon... 40% off all frames, and an extra 25% off after that. Holla!
5. I got this girl's gift that I ordered from expressionery.com. She works with me at OG and she's getting married next week/leaving the company. So sad! Cute gift, though!
6. I made a delish dinner with rice, green beans, and broccoli. Yum-O!
7. I clipped coupons after getting the newspaper... save that money!
8. I called the court in GA and in OH about the biatch that owes me money. Turns out, need to sue her in OH. Not what I was hoping to hear. :(
9. Printed the pictures that Fran has been anxiously awaiting.
10. And signed up to do some volunteer work. :)

All in all, a great day! It was a much better day than the past two, so that's a good thing. I've been dealing with thoughts about Michael - and they've finally subsided. Hooray!

Now, go have yourself a productive little day!

Say a little prayer...

My heart goes out to Hallie at Wonderful World of Weiners. Her son passed away not even two weeks ago tragically.

I've stumbled upon her blog a few times in the past, but it's not on my list of daily reads. She seems like she loves her family in the way that I will someday... fiercely. With a passion. With everything she is. I can't even imagine the pain she's going through. After reading her blog, facebook, other blogs of people who 'knew' her son... it is apparent. My prayers go out to her and her family.

So sad...

10 Things in Austin, TX this weekend

Fran and I decided that we'd take a little jaunt down to Austin this weekend. Saturday evening, to be exact. It was an un-planned, fly by the seat of our pants-type trip. And it was hella amazing.

1. Austin is weird. They were right about that.
2. Ate at this FABULOUS restaurant called La Condesa for dinner, delish!
3. Had a shit ton of alcohol. Not sure how we didn't die on Saturday night. I believe she and I both were 8 shots and 3 drinks deep. And, no, I don't drink girlie drinks... Jager and Redbull and Captain and Ginger Ale. And went to at least 6 drinking establishments.
4. Met yet another Dallas Stars hockey player... Random!
5. Stayed with one of her friends in a ridiculously nice house.
6. Ate brunch at a european eatery... had a Croque Madame. Delish!
7. Sat on a rooftop patio sipping on frozen margaritas for several hours - basking in the sunshine! (and now have an awesome sunburn from it. ouch!)
8. Bought an extremely cute picture frame made out of recycled bangles.
9. Had a nutella and strawberry crepe, made by a dude that (from all appearances) was straight off the boat from France at this place.
10. oh, and, we didn't have a hotel or anything, so we got ready in this hotel's bathroom. HILARIOUS!

So, yes, I had an AWESOME weekend this weekend - and I see more Austin trips in our future - such a great city!

OG

The oil and gas company (now going to be referred to as OG) has brought about some thought lately. This morning, in particular, there was a bit of riff-raff with my boss. The dynamic here is overwhelming sometimes. Men get pissy, some get special treatment because they belong to our parent company, they get heated and yell at each other… you know, the usual. (wtf??)

The point is, I’ve never before seen people act like this – especially not in a work setting. I worked in the Consulting industry prior to this and I must say this is a huge change of culture for me.

Looking at this job as a project, and only that, has given me the ability to not get upset if things don’t go according to plan – ANY plan, that is. Boss decided that he wanted some note cards made. He passed it to one lady, she passed it to another, then another, until it finally landed on my desk.

More than happy to and capable of carrying out this ridiculously easy task, I asked which logo he’d like on them – and he flipped his shit. He mentioned that he wanted a printer that we already have a relationship with to do it. Problem is, he won’t give me the contact there – or even tell me where “there” is. So, rather than giving me the details he just holds on to it. Now, he just says that he wants to “slap a logo” on it and call it a day. That’s going to look awesome with the rest of the materials that have yet to be developed. Way to go with consistency, big guy.

This company has gone against every. single. marketing concept I know. Marketing departments plan for their year well in advance. There’s a strategy in place, a plan, a budget… all these things that make it successful. Not at OG. We fly by the seat of our pants here and it’s going to set us up for failure, for sure.

On another note, the CFO wants me to “meet his son” for some reason. I guess he’s a few years older than me and in to web design. Since I’m a marketing person, he thinks we would “get along great”. Either that or he just sees the direction I’m headed and wants to capitalize on that for his son. Successful, career-driven, hard-working woman. Set it up!

ATL mama....!!

This weekend was fan-tabulous in the ATL. I got to catch up with a lot of old friends, see some of the kids I used to nanny for, hang out with my family (saw my great gma!!), see a Braves pre-season game, and go on a date with Number 10. I had a blast… and happy birthday to me!

I wanted to write about something monumental – something that has a chuckle factor, or something that would be interesting to you, at least. But right now – none of that is. It was all just catching up.

Shenanigans ensued on Friday evening with Blaire and some other friends. We went out to our usual stomping grounds – just some new places. I didn’t go to the MF Room or to the Gold Club, which happen to be some newer “clubs” in town. There just wasn’t time or opportunity for it. I’m sure the same old ATL DB’s were out in full force and I was content spending time with the people I care about more.

I did see Michael Vick in the airport, getting on a plane to Tampa, so that was interesting. I also almost didn’t make my flight because they had to bump 4 people. They offered a sweet deal, too. Two free round trips anywhere AirTran flies, hotel for the night, and 3 meals. I would have taken them up on that offer had I not had a ridiculously important meeting at the oil and gas company on Monday. *sigh* If there’s anywhere to be “stuck,” Atlanta would be the best place.

Music in the key of drunk...

Have you ever noticed that some songs just sound better when you’re drunk. For instance, you’re driving down the highway and a song has been played at least 4 times in your 20 minute jaunt to wherever you’re going – so you change it, and rarely listen to it.

But not when you’re drunk. That shit comes over the speakers, you get really happy, start to dance, sing all the lyrics… you know, the works.

Not something you do? Ok, well maybe it’s just me. ;)

I have a blackberry… love it. (minus the inability to have apps like shazaam) I keep a list in the “notes” section of things like books I see that I’d like to read, songs I need to download, blog topics, etc.

After this weekend, I found a few songs in there that I just didn’t know what the hell drunk me was trying to tell sober me. For instance:

Bep.

I can understand that means Black Eyed Peas…. But what song did I hear that was noteworthy enough to download? No clue.

My favorite…?

Midnight.

Haha! Wtf does that even mean?! Is it a lyric? A song title? Who the hell knows…

Hotlanta

Next weekend, I'll be headed back to the great state of Georgia to enjoy catching up with many old friends. The schedule is jam packed and I can't wait for Easter/My Birthday.

It's going to be a LOT of fun. And I'll get to see Number 10 while I'm there, too. MMhmm. I get to hang with Blair and see some old coworkers. My little sisters and big bro are DEFINITELY on the list of those to hang with. I do miss them so.

So Happy Birthday to me next weekend. Can't wait for my trip there.

Actually, before that happens... might be able to hang with my missed connection (Number 9) on Sunday for the first time. I'll be STOKED if this actually happens. He has been traveling for work for the past few weeks. Silly!

To the rescue...

Last night, shenanigans began early for me. I met up with a few old coworkers at the restaurant I used to work at. It's probably the 3rd time I've been up there since I quit in December. It's SO crazy there that they've had to bring people in from other stores to cover shifts. There is no one to work there. (idea brewing in my head... pick up a few shifts on the weekends, not a bad idea!)

Anyway, met up with a few people there and had a few drinks (ugh, that place is SO expensive) and stuck around for a few hours. Guy number 8 was there and we bantered for a minute. Guy number 3 was also there, but I haven't told you any stories about him yet.

Fran called when she got done with work and we decided to meet up downtown. We ended up at the bar I was going to work at. We grabbed a drink and walked out to the porch and stood by the stairs. You know, scoping out the scene to see what we could see.

I see this somewhat attractive guy with a beer standing there being stand-offish to the girl that's talking to him. This girl has a belly. She has bright red flat shoes, a green top, skinny jeans, and some sort of ribbon around her midsection. She also has a way-too-short bob thing going on top of her head.

This is what happens, in perfect detail.

Girl: (inching close to dude) So, what school do you go to?
Dude: (tilts his beer up, looking around - past the girl)
Girl: (getting closer) What school do you go to?

[Me: (to Fran) I think this dude needs saving]

Dude: Umm. yah. I think my friends are around here somewhere.
Girl: (even closer) Oh, yah, I'm sure they are. But what school do you go to?
Dude: I think I see them. Hang on a sec. (moves about 6 feet away, sipping beer)
Girl: (follows him)

[Me: (to Fran) Yep, gonna move in.]

Me: (walks up to them, puts a finger in the air in her direction, and leans in his ear) I feel like you need to be rescued at this point.
Dude: The restrooms?
Me: (leaning in his ear again) No, dude, RESCUED. Act like you know me.
Dude: OMG! I DO know you from somewhere... you went to SMU, didn't you?
Me: YES! I knew it! I recognized you from SMU, that's right! What was your name again??
Dude: I'm Alex. What was yours?
Me: (shaking his hand, I tell him my name)
Dude: Wow! It's so great to see you!

She's still not leaving at this point. So, I pull the greatest move ever.

Me: Do you remember Fran?? (pointing to the stairs) You should come say hello!
Dude: Oh yah!

Success.

We got over to Fran and he was SO thankful. He thanked me a million times and went on his way. He said girl bought him a shot or something, so he took it. Never again, haha!

She returned to her friends and told them how I came between her and the catch of the night. Dirty looks made their way over to us, but I don't care. If she wants male attention, she shouldn't be so creepy!

Either way, I made his night, I guess, because later he brought us over and introduced us to all of his friends. He maintains that's the coolest thing a girl has ever done for him in his 23 years. We all exchanged numbers and will probably hang again soon.

Ah, the joys of lending a helping hand. Rewarding every single time. :) Haha!

Ranty McRanterson

This is your warning. This entire post is a rant. Every single sentence. You have the option to close your browser now. Don't say you weren't warned. ;)

I must say, It's taken longer than normal for me to get irritated with a roommate this go round. It probably has something to do with the fact that I live with a very mild-mannered guy from California. Or it could be that I've gotten older and just don't give a shit anymore.

Well, now I have some complaints... and I'm not quite sure how to go about addressing them. I thought I was doing a good job of it, but clearly I'm not.

It seems as though all of my complaints are food-centered. The guy has never lived with a roommate before, always with his parents, so I have to give him a break.

About a month or so ago, I was going to make a cake. I reached into the fridge to see that my eggs were completely gone. I don't really eat eggs, or use milk, so it's rare that I buy them. I politely explained that I didn't care if he used SOME of my eggs if he didn't have any... but that I usually need three for baking. Simple enough, right?

I've started noticing all of the other things he uses. First, it's not really that big of a deal - but he never replaces it. I buy certain quality ingredients (and don't go the el-cheapo route with some things) for a reason.

Spices. He uses them. Daily. (never seen a guy cook so much)
Eggs. (We'll get to this in a minute)
Bread.
Butter.
EVOO. (expensive as shit... and he 'over pours')
Garlic.
CHEEEEESE. (I buy the 2% slices... and he replaces with the 100% fat kind. SO annoying)
Pickles.
Soap.
Trash Bags.

He has eaten my leftovers. (gross, btw) AND made "spaghetti" with a whole box of my noodles and my sauce. Like I'm going to eat a WHOLE box of pasta?!

Anyway, so what really pushed my button is the other morning I wanted some eggs for breakfast. I usually don't eat eggs in the am, but wild hair. I reach into the fridge to pull out the 12 eggs I JUST BOUGHT a few days before.

Three. Eggs. Left.

Are you effin' kidding me?! I guess he took what I said literally, or did it just to spite me - but this has GOT to stop, dude. It'd be different if we "shared" things that he buys, but clearly he doesn't buy much. When it's my turn to buy paper towels... I buy 8 rolls. His turn, 2 rolls of the cheap shit that crumbles. Now how is that fair?

The other source of frustration from him is the 3rd roommate. His "girlfriend" stays here 6 out of 7 nights a week. Not okay. In fact, he claims that they haven't had "the talk" yet about making it official, so it's okay for him to sit at home all day and scour the internet dating sites for hot girls - talk to them (INCLUDING my friends) - and take them on dates.

Not only am I footing the bill for her water usage, but they watch their TV shows every night - and it's whoever is watching first rule. Sometimes I just want to sit on my couches and watch my TV.

Oh, and when I DO get to watch a movie or whatever on TV... they come in very loud while he cooks dinner for her (nightly) and talk in the kitchen that's connected to the living area.

I just can't win.

So what do I do, you ask? I leave my shit everywhere. So spiteful. :)

Rii-ii-iide Out

It's getting to the point where I keep a list of "blog topics" in my blackberry, because I can never get to it in a timely manner to remember what it is I was passionate about in the first place! For you, the reader, this would make things much more interesting if I were to update as these things happen - all emotion included. Clearly, I haven't organized my priorities in such a way to make it happen.

So, today, you get a random update about what goes on at my building. Entertaining, yes. Will I be able to cleverly portray what I've seen so it's just as funny to you as it was to me? Not yet sure.

It just so happens that my particular office overlooks the highway. A major highway through the city - even a junction of two major highways. We must have the best seats in the house because the strangest things seem to happen on that stretch of highway.

For example, I'll be sitting at my desk... hastily working.... when out of the corner of my eye, something will catch my attention. Unable to stay focused (rubbernecking at its finest) all three of us girls that sit along those windows will erupt into laughter about whatever the entertainment seems to be for the day.

Once, there was a man riding a "bicycle" coming off the exit. I use the term loosely, because he looked like Santa Claus with a sleigh of random shit in the back of his "bicycle". Poor guy.

Today, there was a car that ran into a mattress. While this was extremely hilarious from our point of view, I could imagine that it was not, in fact, exciting being IN that car. The funny part was the police officer trying to physically PULL the mattress out from being intertwined in the wheel well and engine of this small car.

No amount of police or man force, big guy, will allow you to remove a queen(or larger) size bed out from the tangles of a wheel well or hot engine. But watching you try - priceless.

Mr. Random Thursday

I'm writing to you about my random Thursday a few weeks ago. At the moment, it didn't seem like such an odd day. But looking back upon it, lots of strange things happened.

I started my day like any other, but with the anticipation of a "first date". Usually, I'm not freaked out about dates in general. This one was different. I hadn't really met the guy before, but we'd had many conversations for several weeks.

We (he's been dubbed guy number 7) decided to meet at a restaurant between where the two of us work (which, for me is anywhere in the afternoons) and grab a few drinks.

I headed down to the area right after lunch so I could post up at Borders to work on some of the stuff for the marketing consulting company.

While at Borders, several randoms happened:

- Guy pulls up a chair next to girl. She proceeds to tell him that he needs to quit texting her and asking her out because she doesn't like him. He tells her that he's got "mommy issues" (wtf?) and needs someone around all the time. After all, she is the one that came on to him and gave him her number. She tells him that he's acting neurotic. And the banter goes back and forth for about 20 minutes. I enjoyed every second of this train wreck.

- As I was working at Borders, this extremely hot guy sits next to me and starts working on his computer and looking at a stack of books. I wanted to say something to him, but I didn't. As I contemplated talking to him, I asked Carrie what I should say. He packed his stuff up and left in that time, several hours later. She told me I could be "letting the love of your life walk out of that bookstore"...

- Super weird dude walks over and asks if my name is Rachael. No, weird dude, I'm not anyone you've ever met before. And usually I get Jessica... not Jessica either.


The night with number 7 went by insanely quick. We talked for at least 5 hours before we decided to call it a night. We haven't really had a decent conversation since, just a few random texts back and forth. He's almost been crossed off the list. Almost.

Because I kept thinking about Borders dude (we'll call him number 9) and had no way to reach him, I decided to post a "missed connection" on Craigslist. I never thought anything would come of it (and actually forgot about it) until I got an email a few days later. Seriously!? Does this ever happen??

We've talked a little bit but the guy is a work-a-holic. He goes out of town all the time and we haven't met up again yet. Not even sure if it'll go anywhere, but he's fun to talk to nonetheless.

Oh Mr. Random Thursday, how I have enjoyed you so...

10 Things I need to find motivation to do...

1. File my taxes. I know some of this isn't my doing (the whole procrastinating) but I need to just buckle down and go do it!
2. Learn Illustrator CS2. I bought a few books some weeks ago and just need to get into them.
3. Take a French Class. Honing my French skills before they disappear would be nice. This might be one of my "getting out of debt rewards" to myself. Hmmm...
4. Iron my clothes. My wardrobe is significantly limited when half my shiz isn't ironed when I go to put it on in the AM. OF COURSE I'd rather sleep the extra 10 mins.
5. Finish some mktg. conslulting co. projects in queue. New, more pressing, things have just come up all the time!
6. Keep up with the working out regime. I was going 3x a week for a while and I just haven't found the time recently. I went today, so that was good!
7. File the papers to sue the biatch.

Ok, so there's 7. The shorter this list, the happier I'll be about this. Gotta love figuring shit out.... :)

Google-r

I am a googler. I use gmail, blogger (of course), picasa, adsense, google desktop, calendar, google voice, fast flip... and many other google functions in my daily life. I just love google applications.

Today, at the oil and gas co., I was discussing with my boss the importance of an analytics program behind our website. I, being the marketer that I am, find it necessary to track visitors on your site, find out how they use your site, how long they're there - and what they see. This can help you in the long run with adjustments to drive more traffic. Not only that, but google will actually suggest some changes to your site to make it optimal for search engines. It all makes sense to me.

He agrees. (although he's not 'technically' a marketing professional)

Then he launched some schpiel to me about how he didn't want to pay for back end analytics, that it just costs too much money, etc. etc. As an avid google fan, my first response was to suggest Google Analytics. It's free, and it sets you up for good times with other google applications later. Win, win.

He proceeds to tell me that google isn't the only analytics tool out there. I think I stopped listening at that point. He doesn't know what he's talking about. In my world, it is. :)

Debt is not your friend.

Debt is stressful. I'll be the first one to admit it. I have no idea why I'm stressed more about it now that I make twice what I was making last year - but it seems to have snowballed. And I feel out of control.

I do have some credit card debt, but the bulk of it is student loans and that precious little car that I drive around.

Monthly payments just creep up on me like nobody's business. $50 bucks here for one student loan... $50 bucks there for another one... $200 here for the HUGE student loan... then there's my tag renewal that's coming up and I may or may not have to pay the IRS a shit-ton of money.

Then there are credit card payments galore. I think I might vomit just thinking about it. It's all manageable, but it is seriously holding me back from any fun there is to be had.

I've read the Total Money Makeover and feel like this plan is "feasible" but it is SO depressing to know that you work SO hard and make a pretty good deal of money... just to see it gone before you even get it.

I know I'm the one that put myself in this mess, and I'll certainly be the one to get myself out.... it just takes a lot of discipline.

I know that getting a weekend job serving somewhere would help me do it faster... but I can't seem to find a place that wants to hire someone with such limited availability. I may look into that this week.

Such a random post. And how appropriate that Pandora is playing "Somewhere in between" by Lifehouse. Love this song... ;)

Oh the randomness...

I'm just trying to keep up with life. My life is uber fun at the moment and I like it that way. Updating Carrie every day on new dating situations, going to happy hours and on dates... and all that fun stuff :)

Fran and I have started going out every weekend and having a blast. We meet new people, dance it up at the Dallas clubs, and have so much fun doing whatever the fuck we feel like.

I have probably 20 stories to tell you, but I'm not even sure where to begin. Even worse, coming up with aliases for all these douchebags is an intricate process. Maybe I should just start numbering them. Hmm... that would be easy!

I went out with not-so-random dude number 8 last night. He and I met up for happy hour and talked the night away. He and I used to work together at the restaurant and he just recently broke up with his girlfriend (the cheatin' biatch!). Anyway, it was lots of fun - and that's all I can publicly say.

I have a feeling that letting the blogger world in on my shenanigans might bite me in the ass one day. I have tried to keep it as top secret as I can (about me) but I'm not sure it's working exceptionally well.

I mean, no one used to know that I lived in Atlanta - now you do...and you know I live in Dallas now. That is kinda creepy.

So, bloggers, I ask you... what exactly do you want to hear about? Shenanigans with mens? OR just the normal bi-weekly random update?

I have a feeling the shenanigas are going to win and I'm going to be divulging a lot of juicy secrets...

Got my Hurrr did

Today, I ventured out and did something so completely off-the-wall. I'm not sure how I actually did it without losing it, but I did. And I'm proud of myself.

I cut my hair.

For most girls, a trip to the salon occurs once every 6-8 weeks ensuring the best cut, color, and products are used on their hair. Not for me... I usually end up in a Great Clips chair cutting 4-5 inches off the bottom every 6-8 MONTHS, and a chemical has never touched my head.

Long hair suits me well. I think I look too young with shorter hair, but whatever.

So, today, stepped out on this limb at the Paul Mitchell school near where I live. Absolutely a really awesome choice - and I'm glad I went there. My stylist is just about to graduate and was super cool about everything. Since I have "virgin hair", everyone was enamored by it. Haha. Awkward!

Anyway, so I might go further out on this limb next week and get some highlights and color put in it. One step at a time, for sure. I ended up getting about 6 inches cut off the bottom and getting "round layers". She styled my hair really cute - but of course it fell from the salon to my doorstep. My hair holds absolutely nothing!

Stupid is as stupid does

I usually don't take the time to digest celebrity mishaps. I scan them, maybe read an article or two, and then leave them to a tiny memory in my head to reference when it comes up in conversation.

The Tiger Woods thing, not so much.

You see, I'm passionate about several things in life. One of which is cheating partners. I absolutely, positively, despise infidelity. I cannot stand hearing about other people who have cheated on their significant other - because it ties me up in knots.

I think the main reason is because it scares the shit out of me that I'm going to be married to the man that I love one day - and something like that is going to happen. Cheating has already ruined some of the trust I have for boyfriends in general, I wonder what kind of havoc it would bring to a marriage?

I'm almost 26 - which isn't old for not being married. BUT I am one of maybe 10 people in my 100 person high school class who is not married (or have kids). Does that mean I'm better off? Or does that mean I'm far behind?

Either way, I'm pretty much sick about it. And I can't shake that feeling.

You can find me in the...

I know, I know... a laptop is supposed to make me more accessible to the blogging community. I'm supposed to write more. Post up in a coffee shop and let the thoughts flow.

Well, I've been doing the posting up in coffee shops... but it's for the loads of work and no play! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love both of my jobs, it's just a lot of work! I come home and don't even want to look at the computer screen.

I shall tell you one quick, funny story and then go. It's a good one - promise!

So a few weeks ago, I went out with this gay friend of mine to a gay bar/club downtown. It was a lot of fun - and the part of town I hadn't ventured out to before. As any great wingwoman would do, I paid attention to the guys he was scoping out and offered my opinion and 'wingwoman services' (ie. befriending so the introduction is easier). It was great, we were meeting people, dancing all over the place, and just having an overall blast!

As we kept an eye on this one guy sitting on a stool, I kept noticing him getting really into the music but not getting up to come dance. I took that as my cue to talk to him and invite him to the dance floor.

The conversation went a little like this:

Me: "Hey dude! You look like you're having so much fun with the music and dancing... but you should totally come dance with us on the dance floor!"

Him: (politely) Yah, I'm having a great time! Thanks for the invitation, but no thanks!

Me: Are you sure? You RRRrreeeeaaalllyy look like you'd like to come dance with us. You're just over here bee-boppin to the music (well, I said something like that. It didn't sound as corny as it does written out!)

Him: I'm sure, thank you though! You guys have a great time!

I go back to my friend and relay the bad news. We blow it off and keep dancing. About 30 minutes later, out of the corner of my eye...

I see dude from the stool ROLLING out of the club in a WHEELCHAIR!

Yah. Read it again. ROLLING out of the club in a WHEELCHAIR!

I. Was. So. Embarrassed.

Of COURSE he looked like he wanted to come out on the dance floor to dance with us! Of COURSE he just sat on the stool because he couldn't get up. I cannot tell you how incredibly embarrassed I was at that moment! Insane!

Anyway, so that's my story. I felt bad. And still do. But there's nothing I can do about it. The wheelchair was nowhere in sight, so it wasn't like I was taunting him on purpose or anything.

Oy.

It's new laptop day!!!

Yep. It sure is!! In fact, yesterday should have been new laptop day but the crazies at FedEx decided they'd better bypass my door altogether and just leave it at the office. Had I not tracked this little sucker down last night, I wouldn't have even known it was sitting there waiting for me to bring it to life.

I mean, I DO live up 3 flights of stairs, but you sign up for that when you become a Fed Ex guy, in my opinion.

Either way, I'm SUPER excited about this laptop. I'm able to get work done SO much faster with such a large screen and fast computer. I'm able to go to the coffee shop around the corner (which I absolutely ADORE) and chill with the music and hot tea. MMMmmm.

I have so many funny stories that I always want to blog about but never seem to have the time.

This morning, I was talking with a coworker. She was facing me (away from the window) and I was facing her (looking out the window). Since our office building is overlooking the highway on one side, I was able to see a man on a bicycle out of the window. He looked like santa claus and his bike was loaded with junk. It was sad, because he was riding near the highway and that's super dangerous. But it was also pretty funny, because he looked super determined to make it. Poor guy!

This weekend will probably be uneventful. My best friend out here broke up with his girlfriend the other day. The one he moved here for. So he's moving back. And I'm super sad about it. I loved hanging out with him! Hell, with THEM! They're so much fun. Well, they were. Anyway, very sad moment.

But alas, it's new laptop day - so I'm happy about that! And really tired. So, umm, goodnight!

10 Things about work (well, and other stuff, too)

Oh bloggety-blog. How little time I have for you these days. I literally jumped right back into the game. Projects here and there - lots of *fun* stuff going on.

1. I've ordered a new computer. I can't wait for it to get here... Friday's the day. Can't wait! :) (yah, that's NEXT Friday... ugh!)
2. The consulting co. job is fabulous! I'm learning SO much and she's impressed with my work. I can see this one having a lot of potential. Only drawback, I'm a "consultant" therefore have to pay my own taxes. Not the fun part! My real title is Marketing Specialist. Fitting, I suppose.
3. There is SO much going on at the oil and gas co. I think there is a ton of room for me to "shine" and get stuff done. It's easy when the projects just present themselves to you. Much harder when you have to dig for them.
4. Carrie is coming here in June. That week can't get here fast enough!
5. Pretty much addicted to these sites: www.textsfromlastnight.com and www.postsecret.com Heh. In what little free time I have
6. My first 'gossip' lunch is tomorrow. I got a little preview today - and, let me tell you, this is going to be interesting. I've gotta figure out how this chick gets the whole "password protected" shizzle. I have a feeling this is gonna be juicy!
7. I've been working out for the past two weeks. The gym is really close (at the clubhouse of our apt. complex) and there's never anyone there. It makes me feel really good and I am building a few muscles. Hooray!
8. I need a good office plant. Anyone have any good suggestions? Something that doesn't take a lot of maintenance but is pretty and kinda big - my cube is humongous.
9. I caught up with a few people from my past today. It's been good catching up with people. I've had to wait until I actually had stuff to tell them. Could you imagine if I just told them I sat in my pj's watching Desperate Housewives all day? Haha!
10. Speaking of Desperate Housewives, I'm hooked. Not quite sure how I never watched this show before. But I can't wait to watch this show. Awesome!

Anyway, that's about it. I have some funny stories to tell. Like, when I was driving down the road the other day and a creepy crawly lookin thing just slid down from somewhere in my car. Freaked me out. Literally.

Yah. Good times.

Judge Joe Brown

Ever since I was a kid, I have watched shows like Judge Joe Brown and Judge Judy. They've always been fascinating and (even though they're totally not "real").

Isn't it funny how I have a case now against the biatch that rented my apartment in Atlanta? Hmmm. What about taking her on one of those shows? It would be PERFECT!

I submitted a case against her on Judge Joe Brown AND Judge Judy. We'll see which producers call me back and offer me the best offer for the case. She now owes me $1300 from all the bills associated with the apartment. I've tried and tried to get the money from her, but it's not happening.

Instead, I find out through facebook that she bought some new glasses for herself, went on a trip, started a new job, etc. All things that she could have either forfeited or would have given her SOME money to pay me.

10 Things for today!

1. Holy shit this industry is COMPLICATED. I thought Consulting was a hard concept to grasp when I worked for that company. Oil and gas is absolutely ridiculously confusing - especially with a company whose org structure is in shambles at the moment. My first few days were pretty awesome. I found out today that we have casual Fridays - that means jeans!! Holla! I love it so far! :)
2. I got my shoes in. They are amazing! I JUST got them yesterday, so I was able to wear them today. Super cute and went great with my outfit today. Certainly stylin'!
3. I worked out today, which was nice. 20 min. walking on the treadmill, 20 minutes with the weights, and 20 mins elyptical with weights (talk about a balancing act!) But I feel great! I wish I felt this great BEFORE I went to work out, then I'd do it all the time!!
4. I've not been following the Fat Smash Diet BUT I have been eating fruits and vegetables as snacks instead of the usual bread with hummus or something. I'm a relatively healthy eater, so hopefully I'll lose a little bit of weight. I'm kinda scared to cause my entire wardrobe is pretty expensive and I've been the same size for quite a while. As long as I continue to feel healthy, I guess I'm okay with it!
5. I've been watching Desperate Housewives and am absolutely HOOKED now! That show is crazy good... and soap net shows 3 episodes a day. Gotta love DVR!
6. Borders was having their crazy good sale on calendars - they always do this a few weeks into the new year. It's about the time that I go in to buy mine and they're only 4 bucks a piece! Huzzah! I got a magnetic words calendar for my office, a day planner for all of my projects, and a Texas Travel calendar for my room.
7. I thought my job was going to give me a laptop (because I asked) and then when I showed up, I have this desktop. It's great, don't get me wrong, but I was hoping for portability - and for multiple use, really - and I didn't get it! I understand, however, because they gave me THE computer with all of the design software and a gazillion other things on it. I AM in Marketing, I guess that is to be expected!
8. I get Taste of Home magazine every month and there's a recipe I'm DYING to try! It's Tomato Tortellini Soup... looks AMAZING! I'd link it, but it says you have to be a subscriber to the magazine to see it. Boo!
9. Now that I have somewhat of a "fixed" income every month, I can start on the David Ramsey plan that I read a few months ago. It's gonna be great to pay off my car, student loans, and credit cards.
10. Texas weather is pretty much awesome right now... it's been 70-ish the entire week. :) LOVE it!

The first day of the rest of my life...

So tomorrow is it. I start my new job at the oil and gas company and I couldn't be more excited! I talked to my boss today and he's already got four meetings lined up for me this week. I can't wait to get started!!

Another thought on the whole pub thing... I believe there's got to be a reason why it's not working out. So, I think I'm going to switch gears a bit. I may see if I can get a part time gig working at a store in the mall... like Express or Banana. The only problem I can see is spending my entire paycheck there instead of using it to pay off what I want to pay off... :)

Here goes... to the re-start of my career! I've got the hottest suit to wear tomorrow.... Hooray!

Randomness

Well, I haven't heard anything back from the company I'm "supposed" to start at on Monday. My thoughts... I probably won't start ON Monday. I'll probably work my 20 hours for the week maybe Wednesday thru Friday or something - cause of the delay in getting all of my stuff through HR. Bummer, cause I was hoping for a fresh Monday morning. I have my outfits for the week picked out and everything!

I went for that interview at the pub yesterday and met with the Training manager from Corporate. She said that the GM was sick and not able to make the interview but "loved" my personality and thought I would be a great fit at the pub. (Me too, duh!) So she re-scheduled my interview with the GM until today at 3pm. I went in to meet the guy (SUPER hungover from last night's shenanigans nonetheless) and the guy was 20 minutes late. Decided to make a 3pm run to the bank. Who does that?

Anyway, I wait for 20 minutes for him to come back and make me wait another 10 minutes for him to get ready for me. Our conversation was approximately 6 minutes long. He did the same thing the other people I talked to did and basically confirmed everything I'd written on the application when I filled it out. He wasn't thrilled about my "nights and weekends only" availability - so that might cost me the "you're hired". I am not a full time restaurant-er anymore, so sorry...

He said he'd call by the end of the week but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

I still have the meeting scheduled with the marketing consulting company on Monday about project work (which will hopefully start next week). It'll give me something fun to do and be a part of. Also, I met with a guy about a company he wants to start and he needs marketing help. I'm not sure I fully believe in what he wants to do - or, let's say, I'm not SUPER passionate about it, but I might be willing to help.

Other than that, I watched the top 10 bridges in the world and stared in awe at the Sydney bridge. OMG that thing is beautiful! I think I want to take a trip to Australia... definitely want to climb the bridge!! Putting that on the list of to-do's one day.

Ok - so random. But that's how life goes! Hopefully I'll get started working soon enough and everything will be a-okay. Or at least somewhat okay! ;)

10 [Random] Things...

Oh what a day.

1. Last night, I lay awake until the weeeee hours of the morning. 4am in particular. I have SO many thoughts swirling in my head... to do's, to call's, more to do's, what-if's, you know, the usual. So my sleep pattern has been ridiculously flip-flopped and I can't seem to get a handle on it. For instance, I slept until 1 pm this afternoon. Yep. 1 pm. Fuck.

2. Once I got up, I got my things together and headed to the dealership. My car has been making this lovely screeching noise when it starts and it doesn't sound that great. Did I mention that my car hates Texas? Cause it does.

My Honda only has 60K on it, so these things shouldn't be happening, but thank God for the mysterious 100K PLATINUM extended warranty that happened to fall in my lap. Who knew you could get such a steal of a car without knowing it. I now have a rental car (paid by the warranty) and my car will be fixed without me shelling out a dime. This, my friends, is a blessing.

3. I barely made it to the drug test place today. It's Tuesday - and if I want to start this jobbie-job on Monday, I need that test to come back THIS WEEK. Normally, a 48 hour return time, but since it was so late in the day, it's gonna be 72 for me. Hopefully everything is done and I can start on Monday. Cross your fingers.

4. My lady friend who is supposed to be in town every single month has been quite a bitch lately. She didn't show up in November, stayed for two weeks in December, and just showed up for January. I don't know what she's doing, but I'm not happy about it. Bitch.

5. I started the "Fat Smash Diet" yesterday. It's actually NOT one of those "fad" diets where you starve yourself of essential nutrients - it's almost like being a vegan for a week, working out, and then slowly adding small portions of food back into your diet. It sucks. And I cheated today and had a tortilla. And I haven't made it to the gym yet. But, I really want to do it - just to say that I did.

6. My list of to-do's just keeps getting longer and longer and longer. And my will to take care of these things just keeps getting shorter and shorter and shorter. :)

7. I read Little Bitty Lies last week and I'm reading Savannah Breeze this week. Both really good books that I would recommend.

8. I'm working on some stuff for pre-research to my start at the new company. I'm going to have to find some clever name to call it on the blog, of course, for anonymity. First order of business.... a new website. ASAP, as he says.

9. I called the last pub I applied to today and asked where he was at in the process... he said to come in on Friday at 3 to interview. Hopefully I'll get that job and we'll be good to go. :) I'm ready to start making some money!!

10. Oh, I most certainly saved the best for last. This weekend, I went to see some friends at a random bar in the city. As I was there (a real eclectic place, might I add) there were two girls and a guy. The two girls were wearing exactly the same sleazy dress. Barely covered their ta-ta's and only halfway covered their undies, if there were any undies. One was sans shoes and the other had on hooker heels. As I watched them walk around, mostly looking a bit schwasted-face, I carried on the conversation with my friends.

All of a sudden I saw the one sans shoes come back by with a strip of toilet paper hanging from her rear.

Yes ma'am. Hanging from her buttocks.

The toilet paper was at least half a foot long, maybe longer. Perhaps her bitch had come to town this particular night as well and she was unprepared? Or maybe she was wiping and her thighs just stuck together (they were quite large) and held on to the paper? Or she could have just been trying to get the same attention she was getting wearing that dress? Who knows... but EVERYONE in the place was staring.

Normally, if said paper were stuck to the bottom of some girl's shoe (no matter how sleazy the shoe/outfit) I would make an effort to be a good person and help her out with the situation. But how awkward would THAT conversation be!?

Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to take a picture on the sly. So it'll have to just stay in my memory.

I'm bad, aren't I? Haha. It was hilarious though, you've gotta give me that!

On the shoe hunt!

I just ordered these magnificent things. Carrie would be proud. ;)

I decided that I needed a new pair of black closed-toe high heels. I purchased some from Target that absolutely hurt the hell outta my feet, so I returned them. I know, I know... wearing a pair of shoes and returning them isn't usually in my character - but money is tight and they were poorly designed!

The need for a black shoe was still there so I went searching today. I must say, I haven't figured out where it is these Dallas bitches go to get there cute little shoes yet, but I am determined to find it!! I went to the Marshall's "Mega shoe shop" and found zip. Famous footwear... nada. I even went to the mall.... but what I found was this little beauty, in black suede.

This hot number is going fast. (Nine West, you guys are brilliant!) So I had to order them online. I like the black/white one better than the black suede ones. And I paid a little more for them than I normally would have, but I really want them. (Plus, it just made me feel better)

So, 7-10 days from now, I should see them at my doorstep. I should also be starting my new job around that same time, celebratory present for myself, I suppose. ;)

Marketing Coordinator

Yep. That's what my new title will be once I start at the job I was offered today. This is the oil and gas company that I interviewed with before I left for Atlanta for Christmas.

He called and offered me the part time position (20 hours a week) that is supposed to turn into a full time one. They hadn't had anything figured out about how much it would pay, what the role would be, etc. In fact, they didn't even interview anyone else. I met the guy, he thought I would be a great asset to his team, and he wanted to hire me. (it just took frickin forever!)

This part time position is going to pay a pretty penny. If it were full time, it would be exactly what I was hoping to make starting out. Unfortunately, there are no benefits yet, but I know those will come.

I'm super excited now because the whole part time thing will give me the ability to work on other Marketing projects and work at a pub making a lot of extra money on the weekends. Maybe I'll find somewhere to volunteer at - marketing related or not.

Celebration is called for. Can't wait!!

Go me!!