Anxiety comes in many different forms. I wouldn't say that I "suffer" from it - I just deal with it. But when things get like they are right now, I have anxiety attacks... my head spins with thoughts in all different directions, it affects my concentration, my breathing, my well-being, and turns from a mental into a physical feeling.
It's scary.
But It doesn't have me, I have it. There's a difference.
Breathing helps, family helps, friends help, something stable helps. Oy. Just ready for all this change to be over.
This past week, it's been great having my family in town. I've been go-go-go for the past 4 weeks now... in DC, back for a few days before they came to visit. It's been a lot of fun.
We went to a waterpark, a painting class, the pool, good mex food, the Ft. Worth Stockyards, shopping, thai food, sushi... we did it all. I think my sisters had a great time.
Now, the craziness dwindles, I wind down my work with the consulting company, ramp it up for my new job on Monday.... and then go-go-go again.
Life is crazy. It just is.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Hippity Hop... and you don't stop...
My, oh my, where does the time go?
DC was a lot of fun... I went to see the Allen Ginsberg exhibit and I was really glad I did. Such an amazing collection of photographs. One thought while I was looking through the gallery, we don't typically see the way people lived - in reality - during the 60's thru the 90's. We think of things today, like packaging, and other consumer goods as very vibrant with lots of colors to catch your eyes on the shelves. Cigarette packages, cereal boxes, even mugs or chinese takeout - everything was so plain, so simple. I enjoyed that aspect of the shots he took.
I also really enjoyed his take on life outside his kitchen window. His thoughts on the world, written below on the photographs above, were interesting.
I also went to the sculpture garden, the National Geographic Museum where the DaVinci exhibit was displayed, and a few other places. I only had a half day on Sunday to check anything out because I worked so much. I literally got 4-6 hours of sleep a night because I was at the office or in the hotel. Crazy busy with my project.
While in the hotel, I rented a few movies, one of which My Sister's Keeper. I cried. Sobbed, actually. I can't remember a time where I've cried that hard to a film. I could completely relate to Cameron Diaz's fight for her daughter's life. That's how, I have a feeling, I'll love my children one day... with such a passion.
The project was a success, and frankly, I'm burnt out on PR work. I've always known that branding and marketing for one brand has been my niche, but I didn't really have a choice with this project and the Consulting company.
Speaking of, I did have a talk with my boss and accepted one of the offers - for a chain of sandwich shops. I'll be the Marketing Manager and focus on Local Store Marketing across the US. August 9th is the day :) Super excited about it!
Last night, I went to a book club meeting (my first, ever) and we discussed The Unbearable Lightness of Being. It was a good book - and I was only halfway through (was invited to read it only a week and a half ago!) but it was a really intense, awesome book. The next is A Reliable Wife. We'll see how this one goes!
My family comes to town tomorrow - it'll be good to see them! I just don't know what I'm going to do with them quite yet. I know we'll go to the zoo, and we have a painting class lined up for Monday night. I'm sure we'll hit the pool and do a little exploring for them... I just hope they don't get bored! My little sisters will probably be fascinated with all that Dallas has to offer... but I haven't done any of that yet. You know, explore those things.
I'm pushing away a friend who recently got her third strike. I've known she's been a questionable friend for a little while now, but I really think she's shitty now. It's hard to do - especially when my friend base is not huge... but I'm ok with that. I'd rather surround myself with no one at all than someone who acts the way she does.
C'est la vie, right? ;)
Anyway, that's the 'me' update now. There's more, but you'll have to wait for that...
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Introspection
As of late, I've been partying. A lot. It has to do with my friendship with Fran, that's for sure. I want to settle in to some dating relationships, but I have way too much fun. So, for me, I'm going to discuss several aspects of my life in the following paragraphs. Hopefully you'll read and offer up something good in the advice arena. If not, oh well.
Friendships
The friendships I've made in Texas have been solid, to an extent. I feel like I have good friends here, but they're not the best in the world. My bestie lives in Hawaii and I don't have much face-to-face with her, but she's there for me, she doesn't judge, and she's an amazing person. Fran, on the other hand, is my partner in crime. And crime it is. We're a lot a like, but she pushes the envelope farther than I do. Personality differences, I suppose. I wish there was a way to be completely anonymous about stories she and I have. If so, I'd write day and night. Some good, some bad, some scandalous, and some absolutely ridiculous. Book material, that good. I'm jaded when it comes to friendships at the moment. Opening up about this is not going to be my forte.
Relationships
There are many guys in my life at the moment. They're all incorporated into the perfect man. This always happens when I'm single... I keep a roster of a few that sit on the bench. I call them in to play when they're needed and it's a win/win situation, for me at least. One is my go-to for dates and social outings, another for fun outdoor activities, another for awesome conversation. Pretty soon, one will start to stand out and all the others will fade into the background.
Work
I've written many posts on this subject and nothing has changed. Right now, I have 4 options/offers on the table for my taking. I just have to make the ridiculously hard decision on which company and position it's going to be. This is one of those career-defining moments. I hope I make the right one...
Roommate
I'm actually incredibly happy with my roomie right now. He's become better since he got rid of the girl he was dating. Maybe I was just annoyed by all of that, or maybe it just changed him slightly. Who knows? He's really chill, doesn't invade my space... so what if he eats all the eggs? ;) haha!
Travel
I'm itching. Severely. I would love nothing more than to just jaunt around Europe for months and months, to live there, to do something fun like that. I'm talking still with the company I used to work for on the project out there. We'll see if that happens. If I get an offer to go there, I will hop on a plane tomorrow. You only get those types of opportunities once in a lifetime.
Family
I miss them dearly. My little sisters are so cute. They're learning to have better conversations on the phone. One of them likes to tell me jokes and the other one is learning how to leave voicemails. Absolutely adorable. I can't wait until they're teenagers - just a few more years. They're coming to visit at the end of the summer. I cannot wait for this. It's going to be so much fun. Now, I just need to get my brother over here....
That's about it, I guess. I'm feeling pretty somber at the moment. More apathetic than usual... but that's alright, I suppose. We all go through these moments in our lives. Big decision times, lots of crazy-ness.... I guess that's why it's called an introspection.
Now you know. ;)
4 fun things... before I go.
1. Kaskade will be here on June 19. Omg, the anticipation.
2. Carrie will be here even sooner than that - on Monday. We're going to have an amazing week.
3. I've been running a lot lately (not this week, but previous ones). I've run so much, it baffles even me. Kudos.
4. I have been contemplating writing a book again. I think I have a big story to tell. It just feels like an incredibly long and huge process.
Friendships
The friendships I've made in Texas have been solid, to an extent. I feel like I have good friends here, but they're not the best in the world. My bestie lives in Hawaii and I don't have much face-to-face with her, but she's there for me, she doesn't judge, and she's an amazing person. Fran, on the other hand, is my partner in crime. And crime it is. We're a lot a like, but she pushes the envelope farther than I do. Personality differences, I suppose. I wish there was a way to be completely anonymous about stories she and I have. If so, I'd write day and night. Some good, some bad, some scandalous, and some absolutely ridiculous. Book material, that good. I'm jaded when it comes to friendships at the moment. Opening up about this is not going to be my forte.
Relationships
There are many guys in my life at the moment. They're all incorporated into the perfect man. This always happens when I'm single... I keep a roster of a few that sit on the bench. I call them in to play when they're needed and it's a win/win situation, for me at least. One is my go-to for dates and social outings, another for fun outdoor activities, another for awesome conversation. Pretty soon, one will start to stand out and all the others will fade into the background.
Work
I've written many posts on this subject and nothing has changed. Right now, I have 4 options/offers on the table for my taking. I just have to make the ridiculously hard decision on which company and position it's going to be. This is one of those career-defining moments. I hope I make the right one...
Roommate
I'm actually incredibly happy with my roomie right now. He's become better since he got rid of the girl he was dating. Maybe I was just annoyed by all of that, or maybe it just changed him slightly. Who knows? He's really chill, doesn't invade my space... so what if he eats all the eggs? ;) haha!
Travel
I'm itching. Severely. I would love nothing more than to just jaunt around Europe for months and months, to live there, to do something fun like that. I'm talking still with the company I used to work for on the project out there. We'll see if that happens. If I get an offer to go there, I will hop on a plane tomorrow. You only get those types of opportunities once in a lifetime.
Family
I miss them dearly. My little sisters are so cute. They're learning to have better conversations on the phone. One of them likes to tell me jokes and the other one is learning how to leave voicemails. Absolutely adorable. I can't wait until they're teenagers - just a few more years. They're coming to visit at the end of the summer. I cannot wait for this. It's going to be so much fun. Now, I just need to get my brother over here....
That's about it, I guess. I'm feeling pretty somber at the moment. More apathetic than usual... but that's alright, I suppose. We all go through these moments in our lives. Big decision times, lots of crazy-ness.... I guess that's why it's called an introspection.
Now you know. ;)
4 fun things... before I go.
1. Kaskade will be here on June 19. Omg, the anticipation.
2. Carrie will be here even sooner than that - on Monday. We're going to have an amazing week.
3. I've been running a lot lately (not this week, but previous ones). I've run so much, it baffles even me. Kudos.
4. I have been contemplating writing a book again. I think I have a big story to tell. It just feels like an incredibly long and huge process.
Friday, October 17, 2008
10 Things...
1. I am incredibly bored. You've read that right. BORED. Ugh.
2. Michael and I went to see my sister's softball game last night. They won :) And it was a great game, too!
3. Next weekend we're going to my grandparent's house and celebrating their birthdays (both are in October)... beforehand, my brother and his girlfriend and Michael and I are going hiking/pumpkin patch and it's going to be FABULOUS! I can't wait!
4. We'll get to carve the pumpkins :)
5. Tomorrow night, I'm staying with my mom and sister. We're going to have a night of girl stuff - scrapbooking, movies, etc. It'll be SO much fun. My girlie-girl sister is going to be there... the other sister (who is not so much into the girlie-girl stuff) is going to a wedding with my step-dad.
6. Tonight we're going to an improv show an to the top of this building (reallly reallly cool) with some friends. Should be a GREAT time!
7. It has come down to the point where I'm just going to have to find something to do in this place. Lord help me, their marketing materials are non-existent. I think I've just found a gold mine.
8. The company I was doing a project for this summer was an investment firm. They literally went from spending $25,000 on tchotchke's to being pretty much bankrupt. I did get a compliment, however, on the project I did for them and one of his colleagues at another firm wants me to do the same work for them (obviously not an investment firm). There's DAMN GOOD money in Consulting.
9. I'm kicking ass in school! I've made over an 80 on everything (except one quiz) so far. I'm EXTREMELY proud of myself! My schedule next semester is shitty, but whatever. 4:30 to 9:45 Mondays and Wednesdays. Ugh!
10. I <3 Michael... SOOOOOsooooo much!
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
2. Michael and I went to see my sister's softball game last night. They won :) And it was a great game, too!
3. Next weekend we're going to my grandparent's house and celebrating their birthdays (both are in October)... beforehand, my brother and his girlfriend and Michael and I are going hiking/pumpkin patch and it's going to be FABULOUS! I can't wait!
4. We'll get to carve the pumpkins :)
5. Tomorrow night, I'm staying with my mom and sister. We're going to have a night of girl stuff - scrapbooking, movies, etc. It'll be SO much fun. My girlie-girl sister is going to be there... the other sister (who is not so much into the girlie-girl stuff) is going to a wedding with my step-dad.
6. Tonight we're going to an improv show an to the top of this building (reallly reallly cool) with some friends. Should be a GREAT time!
7. It has come down to the point where I'm just going to have to find something to do in this place. Lord help me, their marketing materials are non-existent. I think I've just found a gold mine.
8. The company I was doing a project for this summer was an investment firm. They literally went from spending $25,000 on tchotchke's to being pretty much bankrupt. I did get a compliment, however, on the project I did for them and one of his colleagues at another firm wants me to do the same work for them (obviously not an investment firm). There's DAMN GOOD money in Consulting.
9. I'm kicking ass in school! I've made over an 80 on everything (except one quiz) so far. I'm EXTREMELY proud of myself! My schedule next semester is shitty, but whatever. 4:30 to 9:45 Mondays and Wednesdays. Ugh!
10. I <3 Michael... SOOOOOsooooo much!
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Today... (pronounced Tuh-day)
Oh yes, yes, yes... where do I begin? Let's see... I've been "getting sick" since mid week last week... and it's turned into a full-blown cold, just as I feared. I can't breathe, my eyes are puffy, my nose runny... and I'm miserable. Hah. Lovely.
Anywho... Let me talk to you about my day today and then I can take you back through the weekend last weekend. You shall thoroughly enjoy it, I'm sure.
This morning, I was supposed to get up early so I could finish my project before meeting my group at around 10:30 at school. I woke up to my alarm every five minutes but continuously shut it off. Eh, C'est la vie. That just meant I wasn't going to be able to put as much effort into it as I would have otherwise.
I got up, got dressed, and headed out the door in time to catch the 9:45 train (perfect timing, might I add). As I hopped out of my car... I noticed... that I didn't have my purse with me. Never fear, I had a $20 in the console for some odd reason - and it literally saved my day.
I cringed as I put the 20 in the machine... for my $4 round-trip ticket... only to find that it spat out $16 in CHANGE. Yes, that's right... $1 coins and other CHANGE to make up SIXTEEN dollars. Yeesh.
While on the train, I get a phone call from my mother. She tells me that my grandmother (who is only in her late 60's, MAYBE 70) had a mini-stroke last Monday... and they didn't TELL anyone!! They think they're saving us all from worrying, but they're really worrying us more. The only reason we found out is because my step-dad went up there on Saturday and they were talking about it! (she's alright, by the way)THEN, she tells me that their dog died (HUGE thing for them... cause their dogs are their 'children' really) on Thursday. They didn't call anyone and tell them that either. What am I gonna do with them!?
I get to school and trot to the library... to where I am denied access because I don't have my School ID or regular ID on me. Well, whoop-dee-doo... I went to the other entrance and finagled my way in through that security guard (MUCH nicer than the previous, I might add). I was finally able to do my project, but without my school ID, couldn't print it! Haha! The irony!
I took a test, dealt with my annoying group member... and here I am. I wanna go home and go to sleep :) That's all. Cuddle up with Michael, a good movie, and some soup... and just go to sleep.
Anywho... Let me talk to you about my day today and then I can take you back through the weekend last weekend. You shall thoroughly enjoy it, I'm sure.
This morning, I was supposed to get up early so I could finish my project before meeting my group at around 10:30 at school. I woke up to my alarm every five minutes but continuously shut it off. Eh, C'est la vie. That just meant I wasn't going to be able to put as much effort into it as I would have otherwise.
I got up, got dressed, and headed out the door in time to catch the 9:45 train (perfect timing, might I add). As I hopped out of my car... I noticed... that I didn't have my purse with me. Never fear, I had a $20 in the console for some odd reason - and it literally saved my day.
I cringed as I put the 20 in the machine... for my $4 round-trip ticket... only to find that it spat out $16 in CHANGE. Yes, that's right... $1 coins and other CHANGE to make up SIXTEEN dollars. Yeesh.
While on the train, I get a phone call from my mother. She tells me that my grandmother (who is only in her late 60's, MAYBE 70) had a mini-stroke last Monday... and they didn't TELL anyone!! They think they're saving us all from worrying, but they're really worrying us more. The only reason we found out is because my step-dad went up there on Saturday and they were talking about it! (she's alright, by the way)THEN, she tells me that their dog died (HUGE thing for them... cause their dogs are their 'children' really) on Thursday. They didn't call anyone and tell them that either. What am I gonna do with them!?
I get to school and trot to the library... to where I am denied access because I don't have my School ID or regular ID on me. Well, whoop-dee-doo... I went to the other entrance and finagled my way in through that security guard (MUCH nicer than the previous, I might add). I was finally able to do my project, but without my school ID, couldn't print it! Haha! The irony!
I took a test, dealt with my annoying group member... and here I am. I wanna go home and go to sleep :) That's all. Cuddle up with Michael, a good movie, and some soup... and just go to sleep.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
10 [minus 2] Things that are random...
*whew* I was heated yesterday when I wrote that placeholder.
1. This guy is in my group in my marketing research class. He, for the first half of the semester didn't do anything. Didn't respond to any email, didn't stay after class to discuss our group project, didn't participate whatsoever. So I talked to my teacher about it since we have the option of 'firing' a group member - then they're forced to do the project solo. Anyway... after the teacher talked to him, he did a complete 180. Now, he's TAKING OVER the whole project. Which, would be fine, if he wasn't so demanding and controlling.
He took a look at what we've done so far and basically told me that we were going in the wrong direction and needed to start over. HAH! If he wanted his input considered, he should have responded to the first 20 emails about it. But he didn't. So he has no say.
Yesterday, he stood out in the hall and argued with me about the project. I just kept telling him that he needed to discuss with the group... not just me. He's fucking psycho. That's all I have to say about that!!
2. Last night, Michael and I attended THE most depressing concert I think I've ever been to. The line-up was great... Augustana, Maroon 5, and Counting Crows. EXCEPT, they played their up-beat songs slower and sang differently. It was awful. We only saw 3/4 of Counting Crows and 1/2 of Maroon 5 before we called it a night. It was a bit chilly out, we were both tired, and it wasn't worth being there. We're not depressing people!! Good thing I only paid 10 bucks for the tickets!
3. In other news, I found a long lost friend from camp. I've been in touch with the 3 other girls I used to hang with at camp, but we could never find this one. And I finally found her the other night!! :) She's got a kid, just got married, and has another kid on the way. So happy for her!
4. You'll be happy to know that my miserable-ness ended at close of business on Tuesday. I came in this morning and they said they've got a project for me... woohoo! Something to do!! :) Hooray! Although, I still don't have a permanent desk... and they bitched about me moving the monitor. Hrmph. I tried hard to put it back the way I found it.
5. I made an 82 on my Finance quiz last night. I TOTALLY screwed up number 1 and number 5. There were only 6 questions :) But, that's still pretty good! I have another test on Monday, a paper draft due (well, overdue, technically - but it's not being graded yet), group project stuff due all over the place... my night and weekend will be spent studying. Aren't you happy for me?! Hah. Yahright!
6. I've been doing great losing a little bit of weight. Scales don't matter, by the way. I put on a pair of pants that were usually tight - and now they're a bit loose. SO excited about that!
7. My little sister is in the parade tomorrow and I cannot wait to go do her hair and all that cute stuff. My mom bought her a NEW dress (not the one she wore in the pagent cause the color of the sash clashes with the dress, she says). I think she just wanted to get her a new dress, I don't think she really needed one. Lucky girl!
8. I've had BAD anxiety this week. I mean REALLY bad. Yesterday was awful, Tuesday was even worse - but it's all up and down. *sigh* Today is MUCH better :)
1. This guy is in my group in my marketing research class. He, for the first half of the semester didn't do anything. Didn't respond to any email, didn't stay after class to discuss our group project, didn't participate whatsoever. So I talked to my teacher about it since we have the option of 'firing' a group member - then they're forced to do the project solo. Anyway... after the teacher talked to him, he did a complete 180. Now, he's TAKING OVER the whole project. Which, would be fine, if he wasn't so demanding and controlling.
He took a look at what we've done so far and basically told me that we were going in the wrong direction and needed to start over. HAH! If he wanted his input considered, he should have responded to the first 20 emails about it. But he didn't. So he has no say.
Yesterday, he stood out in the hall and argued with me about the project. I just kept telling him that he needed to discuss with the group... not just me. He's fucking psycho. That's all I have to say about that!!
2. Last night, Michael and I attended THE most depressing concert I think I've ever been to. The line-up was great... Augustana, Maroon 5, and Counting Crows. EXCEPT, they played their up-beat songs slower and sang differently. It was awful. We only saw 3/4 of Counting Crows and 1/2 of Maroon 5 before we called it a night. It was a bit chilly out, we were both tired, and it wasn't worth being there. We're not depressing people!! Good thing I only paid 10 bucks for the tickets!
3. In other news, I found a long lost friend from camp. I've been in touch with the 3 other girls I used to hang with at camp, but we could never find this one. And I finally found her the other night!! :) She's got a kid, just got married, and has another kid on the way. So happy for her!
4. You'll be happy to know that my miserable-ness ended at close of business on Tuesday. I came in this morning and they said they've got a project for me... woohoo! Something to do!! :) Hooray! Although, I still don't have a permanent desk... and they bitched about me moving the monitor. Hrmph. I tried hard to put it back the way I found it.
5. I made an 82 on my Finance quiz last night. I TOTALLY screwed up number 1 and number 5. There were only 6 questions :) But, that's still pretty good! I have another test on Monday, a paper draft due (well, overdue, technically - but it's not being graded yet), group project stuff due all over the place... my night and weekend will be spent studying. Aren't you happy for me?! Hah. Yahright!
6. I've been doing great losing a little bit of weight. Scales don't matter, by the way. I put on a pair of pants that were usually tight - and now they're a bit loose. SO excited about that!
7. My little sister is in the parade tomorrow and I cannot wait to go do her hair and all that cute stuff. My mom bought her a NEW dress (not the one she wore in the pagent cause the color of the sash clashes with the dress, she says). I think she just wanted to get her a new dress, I don't think she really needed one. Lucky girl!
8. I've had BAD anxiety this week. I mean REALLY bad. Yesterday was awful, Tuesday was even worse - but it's all up and down. *sigh* Today is MUCH better :)
Sunday, September 14, 2008
10 Things this week holds...
1. Tonight I get to snuggle with Michael. He had a 'mancation' this weekend and I missed him :) (he's actually already sleeping in the other room)
2. I have two tests... one tomorrow in Mktg Research and one Wednesday in Finance.
3. Dinner with a friend on Thursday night. (I forgot her pseudonym... we haven't hung out in a while!)
4. I talked with Michael about doing the Fat Smash Diet. It's actually one of the only "diets" I've ever considered doing. You basically cut out the fat from what you eat. Hrm. Sounds good to me!
5. Friday night is "family picture" night... my mom is having ALL of us get together to take a family photo. The last time this happened, my 7 year old sister was only a few months old.
6. I'm feeling MUCH better from the muck I had last week. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun, but I'm over it now. This means going back to work. Ugh.
7. Next Sunday, we're going to the baseball game. It should be tons of fun... we haven't gone since my favorite player left the team. I'm still pissed about that.
8. Ummm... study, study, study? Did I mention studying?
9. I'll probably go work out some. I haven't done that in a while. And my school schedule isn't conducive to me going to the step classes this semester. I'm a little bummed about that. Ok, a lot bummed.
10. Scrapbooking. Someone from my mom's work asked me to do a scrapbook for their 18 month old son from birth. He's the CUTEST little thing. I did the Halloween page a week or so ago... and made him a pumpkin. SO cute! I'm sure I'll work on that some.
PS - Michael brought me back THE cutest little souvenir from his mancation. It's salt and pepper shakers of two little ceramic cats smooching (there are magnets on their lips). There are a TON of 'inside' things with this gift. That's the best part about it! AND he brought back snow globes for my sisters. How sweet is he?!
PPS - I got all the stuff to make the 2008 scrapbook for Michael and I. I can't WAIT to start it! I've got to get the other one done first though. Argh!
Ahhhh... so in love :) and so happy! <3
Oh, and I tried frozen grapes for the first time this weekend because Rae had some in the freezer... and I love them! Who would have thought?!
2. I have two tests... one tomorrow in Mktg Research and one Wednesday in Finance.
3. Dinner with a friend on Thursday night. (I forgot her pseudonym... we haven't hung out in a while!)
4. I talked with Michael about doing the Fat Smash Diet. It's actually one of the only "diets" I've ever considered doing. You basically cut out the fat from what you eat. Hrm. Sounds good to me!
5. Friday night is "family picture" night... my mom is having ALL of us get together to take a family photo. The last time this happened, my 7 year old sister was only a few months old.
6. I'm feeling MUCH better from the muck I had last week. Whatever it was, it wasn't fun, but I'm over it now. This means going back to work. Ugh.
7. Next Sunday, we're going to the baseball game. It should be tons of fun... we haven't gone since my favorite player left the team. I'm still pissed about that.
8. Ummm... study, study, study? Did I mention studying?
9. I'll probably go work out some. I haven't done that in a while. And my school schedule isn't conducive to me going to the step classes this semester. I'm a little bummed about that. Ok, a lot bummed.
10. Scrapbooking. Someone from my mom's work asked me to do a scrapbook for their 18 month old son from birth. He's the CUTEST little thing. I did the Halloween page a week or so ago... and made him a pumpkin. SO cute! I'm sure I'll work on that some.
PS - Michael brought me back THE cutest little souvenir from his mancation. It's salt and pepper shakers of two little ceramic cats smooching (there are magnets on their lips). There are a TON of 'inside' things with this gift. That's the best part about it! AND he brought back snow globes for my sisters. How sweet is he?!
PPS - I got all the stuff to make the 2008 scrapbook for Michael and I. I can't WAIT to start it! I've got to get the other one done first though. Argh!
Ahhhh... so in love :) and so happy! <3
Oh, and I tried frozen grapes for the first time this weekend because Rae had some in the freezer... and I love them! Who would have thought?!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
All this for just a snapshot!
My great grandmother lives a pretty sad life at the moment. She's 86? 87? I don't even know... and she is SO ready for Jesus to take her home. She'll tell you so every time you see her. About that, and her toes that hurt, her eyes, her hips, etc etc...
Today, I went to my grandparents for Father's Day (cause I love my grandpa!) and we all had lunch. They live up the street from my great grandma's so they can take care of her - so when I go up there, I try to stop by and see her.
She doesn't do anything all day except sit there and look out the window. She used to quilt but doesn't do that anymore because she says she can't see well enough. She used to have visitors and phone calls but now that she just complains all of the time, no one really wants to talk to her.
She's SO sweet... and I love her so incredibly much. I think it's sad that it's gotten to this point. Really.
Today, my mom and both sisters went to see her. We were looking through a photo album talking about the people in it and who they were - who they belonged to and some of the history behind it all. A nice little change of pace, to say the least.
Before we left, she insisted that she get a picture of all 4 of us because she had one picture left on her camera. The fiasco begins here :)
The light was too bright on this side of the room... and we couldn't stand in front of this window or that one. Then, once we got situated, she couldn't figure out how to work the flash. My mom suggested we go outside and forget about the flash altogether. We step outside and my great grandma doesn't think the spot we're in is right. So we move back towards this tree and that tree... "careful not to step in the ant hill there"... so we move to the other side in front of another tree... but there's the neighbor's house in the background. Then this and that until finally the space is right.
She's way too close to us so she complained that it'll cut off our heads so we should scrunch together. We told her to back up. She finally backs up and has everyone in the picture but then she can't use her right eye, she has to use her left one - then her fingers are in the way....
By this time, we're all CRACKING up because my great grandma couldn't take a picture if her life depended on it. haha. I haven't seen her laugh or smile like that in years. :) It actually made me a bit happy to make her laugh and see her so happy even if it were so brief.
I am dying to see how that picture turns out!!
Today, I went to my grandparents for Father's Day (cause I love my grandpa!) and we all had lunch. They live up the street from my great grandma's so they can take care of her - so when I go up there, I try to stop by and see her.
She doesn't do anything all day except sit there and look out the window. She used to quilt but doesn't do that anymore because she says she can't see well enough. She used to have visitors and phone calls but now that she just complains all of the time, no one really wants to talk to her.
She's SO sweet... and I love her so incredibly much. I think it's sad that it's gotten to this point. Really.
Today, my mom and both sisters went to see her. We were looking through a photo album talking about the people in it and who they were - who they belonged to and some of the history behind it all. A nice little change of pace, to say the least.
Before we left, she insisted that she get a picture of all 4 of us because she had one picture left on her camera. The fiasco begins here :)
The light was too bright on this side of the room... and we couldn't stand in front of this window or that one. Then, once we got situated, she couldn't figure out how to work the flash. My mom suggested we go outside and forget about the flash altogether. We step outside and my great grandma doesn't think the spot we're in is right. So we move back towards this tree and that tree... "careful not to step in the ant hill there"... so we move to the other side in front of another tree... but there's the neighbor's house in the background. Then this and that until finally the space is right.
She's way too close to us so she complained that it'll cut off our heads so we should scrunch together. We told her to back up. She finally backs up and has everyone in the picture but then she can't use her right eye, she has to use her left one - then her fingers are in the way....
By this time, we're all CRACKING up because my great grandma couldn't take a picture if her life depended on it. haha. I haven't seen her laugh or smile like that in years. :) It actually made me a bit happy to make her laugh and see her so happy even if it were so brief.
I am dying to see how that picture turns out!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
The Flu is not so nice
So I've been sick since my return from New Orleans for Mardi Gras. I don't think I've felt this bad since the end of 2003 when I was in the hospital from Pneumonia. I'm just now able to sit up and eat something (soup is just about it) and actually watch the TV without getting dizzy.
My roommate is moving out in a month (which is nice... but not really because now I have to find a replacement). He told me when he first moved in that he'd only be able to stay until February so I guess the extra month was helpful. He just left a note on the counter with his "i'm moving out in a month" notification - all while I'm sick with the flu. Something I really didn't want to deal with.
People move so slowly when you're sick, too. I had to drag my sick ass to the doctor's office Wednesday morning (nice fever and all) to find out what was wrong with me. Usually, you go in, they call your name once to get your copay and insurance and then call you back and escort you directly to a room. Not this time, my friend. I don't think I've ever looked more sickly walking into that place... and they called me up to the counter at least 4 times (2 of which they mistakenly called my name)... called me back to another holding room... made me go to the "vital signs" section (you know, where they take your weight, blood pressure, etc)... and then back to the holding room... and finally into the room to wait for the doctor.
I am EXTREMELY proud of myself for not cursing at anyone during the entire process.
Speaking of the whole vital signs room.... I'm now down to 154. ;) That's a total of 5 lbs gone... and 14 more to go to get to my 140 lb goal.
J'apprends à parler français.
I am learning to speak French!
[oh... and to update... My little sister won the pageant last weekend :) I'm a VERY proud big sister!!!]
My roommate is moving out in a month (which is nice... but not really because now I have to find a replacement). He told me when he first moved in that he'd only be able to stay until February so I guess the extra month was helpful. He just left a note on the counter with his "i'm moving out in a month" notification - all while I'm sick with the flu. Something I really didn't want to deal with.
People move so slowly when you're sick, too. I had to drag my sick ass to the doctor's office Wednesday morning (nice fever and all) to find out what was wrong with me. Usually, you go in, they call your name once to get your copay and insurance and then call you back and escort you directly to a room. Not this time, my friend. I don't think I've ever looked more sickly walking into that place... and they called me up to the counter at least 4 times (2 of which they mistakenly called my name)... called me back to another holding room... made me go to the "vital signs" section (you know, where they take your weight, blood pressure, etc)... and then back to the holding room... and finally into the room to wait for the doctor.
I am EXTREMELY proud of myself for not cursing at anyone during the entire process.
Speaking of the whole vital signs room.... I'm now down to 154. ;) That's a total of 5 lbs gone... and 14 more to go to get to my 140 lb goal.
J'apprends à parler français.
I am learning to speak French!
[oh... and to update... My little sister won the pageant last weekend :) I'm a VERY proud big sister!!!]
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
One reason I'm happy about being single
My little sister is going to be in my hometown's little miss pageant this weekend. She's a part of the 5-6 yr old girls even though she'll be 7 next month. She's SO excited, and because of that, I'm excited for her.
For the past few weeks, we've been dress shopping, done a mock hair and make-up session, and the whole nine. Tonight was a rehersal where former "queens" showed the little ones how to do the walk and where to stand, etc.
My mom and I sat with my sister in the auditorium until it was her turn. There were several people there that graduated with or around me.
They all have kids. IN the pageant. (And I didn't graduate too long ago.)
[Conversation heard from a row back]
Guy I graduated with: Yah, ya know... marriage is really tough. Things change. It's really weird. You, are you married?
Girl I graduated with: Nope! Not married. .... But I was!
Guy: Oh really?
Girl: Yah. I got married in the middle of 06 and then divorced at the end of 07.
Guy: Well, what happened? Cheater?
Girl: Nah, he just spent WAY too much of my money and changed the person he was.
WOAH. These people are only 24 years old and both have them have already been divorced once? One of them has step-kids and kids of their own?
I am SO glad I didn't go down that path. This is DEFINITELY one reason I'm happy about being single.
And... let's not forget... the French Phrase of the day...
C'est un cadeau
It's a gift!
[UPDATE: My little sister ended up WINNING the pageant!!! :) Hooray!!]
For the past few weeks, we've been dress shopping, done a mock hair and make-up session, and the whole nine. Tonight was a rehersal where former "queens" showed the little ones how to do the walk and where to stand, etc.
My mom and I sat with my sister in the auditorium until it was her turn. There were several people there that graduated with or around me.
They all have kids. IN the pageant. (And I didn't graduate too long ago.)
[Conversation heard from a row back]
Guy I graduated with: Yah, ya know... marriage is really tough. Things change. It's really weird. You, are you married?
Girl I graduated with: Nope! Not married. .... But I was!
Guy: Oh really?
Girl: Yah. I got married in the middle of 06 and then divorced at the end of 07.
Guy: Well, what happened? Cheater?
Girl: Nah, he just spent WAY too much of my money and changed the person he was.
WOAH. These people are only 24 years old and both have them have already been divorced once? One of them has step-kids and kids of their own?
I am SO glad I didn't go down that path. This is DEFINITELY one reason I'm happy about being single.
And... let's not forget... the French Phrase of the day...
C'est un cadeau
It's a gift!
[UPDATE: My little sister ended up WINNING the pageant!!! :) Hooray!!]
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Grandparents say the darndest things...
Today, there was lots of interesting conversation around the Thanksiving preparations. I was told how the dog's urine turned to blood and they found crystals in it - and had to take her to the vet right away. Now, normally, someone would tell this story with the least amount of detail. Not my grandmother. She has to tell you everything she thinks and then what she does and completes every single detail for you. I think it's great... but there are some things I just don't want to know.
It was especially rough this summer when she had surgery. I got to hear EVERY gory detail of the surgery and the side effects and how much she urinated and didn't and where it wasn't comfortable... the whole nine.
[yep, if I have to hear it, so do you!]
I just don't know why older people feel the need to tell you every single gory detail of their medical conditions. Perhaps it's that they've lived long enough they don't really care what other people think of them? I know they didn't used to tell me all of this stuff. Perhaps because I was too young at that point? Who knows?
It was especially rough this summer when she had surgery. I got to hear EVERY gory detail of the surgery and the side effects and how much she urinated and didn't and where it wasn't comfortable... the whole nine.
[yep, if I have to hear it, so do you!]
I just don't know why older people feel the need to tell you every single gory detail of their medical conditions. Perhaps it's that they've lived long enough they don't really care what other people think of them? I know they didn't used to tell me all of this stuff. Perhaps because I was too young at that point? Who knows?
10 Things I learned about my Great-Grandmother today
1. She's only ever flown on an airplane once. My grandparents bought her and my great-grandpa tickets to see them in Wyoming... in the early 70's.
2. While she was there, my uncle (12 at the time) took her on a snow mobile. Haha. I can only imagine what that had to look like!
3. She had to walk to school from elementary on up. It was 3 miles.
4. When I asked "what city did you live in?" She replied, "I lived in Franklin County" No, g-ma, what CITY? Oh... I didn't live in a city... I lived in the country. HAhahahaha... she had me rollin on this one.
5. She only went through 10th grade or so... they only had 11 grades back then.
6. Her sister passed away earlier this month. From "corn" cancer. (If you knew my great-g-ma, you would think this was hilarious) She's got a corn on her foot that she, in her mind, believes is cancer. Her sister really died of Colon Cancer. Not CORN. Haha.
7. My Great-Great-Grandparents owned a general store in Franklin County.
8. She went with them one time down to Gainesville to pick up supplies for the store and they bought her some black and white checkered overalls. She said "I thought I was dressed then!" (meaning she thought she was hot shit)
9. She doesn't like alcohol.
10. Her first car was a Chevrolet. She also used to drive a Nova in the 60's. Interesting.
2. While she was there, my uncle (12 at the time) took her on a snow mobile. Haha. I can only imagine what that had to look like!
3. She had to walk to school from elementary on up. It was 3 miles.
4. When I asked "what city did you live in?" She replied, "I lived in Franklin County" No, g-ma, what CITY? Oh... I didn't live in a city... I lived in the country. HAhahahaha... she had me rollin on this one.
5. She only went through 10th grade or so... they only had 11 grades back then.
6. Her sister passed away earlier this month. From "corn" cancer. (If you knew my great-g-ma, you would think this was hilarious) She's got a corn on her foot that she, in her mind, believes is cancer. Her sister really died of Colon Cancer. Not CORN. Haha.
7. My Great-Great-Grandparents owned a general store in Franklin County.
8. She went with them one time down to Gainesville to pick up supplies for the store and they bought her some black and white checkered overalls. She said "I thought I was dressed then!" (meaning she thought she was hot shit)
9. She doesn't like alcohol.
10. Her first car was a Chevrolet. She also used to drive a Nova in the 60's. Interesting.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Waking Up
For the past several weeks I've been in a complete fog. In light of the events last week [and today's the 4 year 'anniversary' (for lack of a better term)], things going south with Sam, busy busy busy - ness at work, finding a new roommate, and lots of stuff going on at school... I pretty much shut down.
I had to have a CYA meeting with my boss (not one of the more pleasing things in life) to let her in on why I was slacking off. It literally struck me in the middle of the day Monday.
It's quite odd how these things happen. You know something is wrong but you really can't pinpoint it for the longest time. You start searching inward, pulling things apart, putting them back together, etc etc... this long drawn out process... and then all at one moment... it just hits you over the head. And the first word that comes out of your mouth is "Shit."
The thoughts that ensue are "I have to talk to this person... and that person... and let them know this is why I've been acting this way..." blah blah blah.
I'm in recovery mode right now (which is a great place to be, I might add). I have a renewed "spirit", so to say, and can function so much better now. [thank God!!] I have tons of things to work on for work and school and my home life... I desperately need to get started on!
*sigh* Whew! That was rough.
I had to have a CYA meeting with my boss (not one of the more pleasing things in life) to let her in on why I was slacking off. It literally struck me in the middle of the day Monday.
It's quite odd how these things happen. You know something is wrong but you really can't pinpoint it for the longest time. You start searching inward, pulling things apart, putting them back together, etc etc... this long drawn out process... and then all at one moment... it just hits you over the head. And the first word that comes out of your mouth is "Shit."
The thoughts that ensue are "I have to talk to this person... and that person... and let them know this is why I've been acting this way..." blah blah blah.
I'm in recovery mode right now (which is a great place to be, I might add). I have a renewed "spirit", so to say, and can function so much better now. [thank God!!] I have tons of things to work on for work and school and my home life... I desperately need to get started on!
*sigh* Whew! That was rough.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
And the verdict is...
... not guilty.
I'm not sure how, in the United States, you can kill someone with your vehicle and walk away. Walk away without a scratch, without a fine, without a punishment, without an apology.
I have lost faith in the judicial system. Completely.
I'm not sure how, in the United States, you can kill someone with your vehicle and walk away. Walk away without a scratch, without a fine, without a punishment, without an apology.
I have lost faith in the judicial system. Completely.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
A day of truths
It's always been hard... but today was the hardest of them all. Today was the day light was shed on the truth. The truth that, through some form, had been manipulated by the time it got to me. I was told "he was speeding... going way too fast. That's why she didn't see him," I was also told "He didn't know what hit him... there weren't any skid marks."Today, those truths revealed left me in a bed of tears. There WERE skid marks... 17 feet and 11 inches of them. He DID realize what was about to happen. Albeit, it was instantaneous death (or so I was told) he drew his last few breaths in fear of what was about to occur.
As I'd previously placed some of the blame on his actions - speeding on a road with a posted sign of 35 mph - I can no longer make that judgment. Forensics and evidence grant him a top speed of 40 mph with impact at a range of 30 mph or so.
I'm angry. I'm saddened. I'm helpless right now. It's a hurt like no other, and it's torturous.
I wasn't summoned by the court today. I wasn't forced into the self mutilation of hearing the testimonies of two handfuls of witnesses and their recollection of the events that day. Something told me I had to go. I had to be there for my aunt. I had to be there to find out the truth. The factual truth. And what happened that day.
I wish no harm to the person who did this. I actually wish her well. Certainly, she'll take this guilt with her for the rest of her life, but beyond that. Beyond the teary eyes and sobbing testimony, she has to feel some remorse. Enough to apologize to the people she took him from. That's all I ask. And she hasn't yet.
The comical thing of it all... the last time I saw him was at my Halloween Party the weekend before the accident. Every time this case has been brought before the court, it's been the week of Halloween. We should hear the verdict. Tomorrow, October 31. On Halloween.
[to read the full story, click here]
Monday, October 1, 2007
10 things that made this weekend interesting
1. Made some quick cash by selling the head unit from my previous car all while reconnecting with an old friend.
2. Rearranged my bedroom. Completely. There's now a lovely King Size bed in there complete with new linens.
3. Made a girl leave the bar because I danced better than her. It was quite hilarious. She made reference to her dancing skills and I had to show her up. She grabbed her purse and left the building.
4. Shared a bottle of wine with Trent. It had been sitting on my counter since he gave it to me for my birthday in April.
5. Went to a family reunion (in which my great aunt - who is about 55 years old - dyed two streaks of her grey hair bright blue)
6. Had 3 pairs of heels re-tapped and made wear-able again. (nothing like rejuvenating shoes that were oh-so-sexy)
7. Watched a really bad movie. German with subtitles?? Snooze.
8. Selected my Halloween costume for this year. A lovely French Maid. I've never been anything in the past 5 years but a cat. It was time to change it up.
9. Went through several boxes of old stuff at my mom's house. Found lots of 'junk' I kept for various reasons. We'll cite it 'memorabilia'.
10. Woke up two mornings in a row sans hangover after drinking quite a bit the night before. Now THAT is impressive!
2. Rearranged my bedroom. Completely. There's now a lovely King Size bed in there complete with new linens.
3. Made a girl leave the bar because I danced better than her. It was quite hilarious. She made reference to her dancing skills and I had to show her up. She grabbed her purse and left the building.
4. Shared a bottle of wine with Trent. It had been sitting on my counter since he gave it to me for my birthday in April.
5. Went to a family reunion (in which my great aunt - who is about 55 years old - dyed two streaks of her grey hair bright blue)
6. Had 3 pairs of heels re-tapped and made wear-able again. (nothing like rejuvenating shoes that were oh-so-sexy)
7. Watched a really bad movie. German with subtitles?? Snooze.
8. Selected my Halloween costume for this year. A lovely French Maid. I've never been anything in the past 5 years but a cat. It was time to change it up.
9. Went through several boxes of old stuff at my mom's house. Found lots of 'junk' I kept for various reasons. We'll cite it 'memorabilia'.
10. Woke up two mornings in a row sans hangover after drinking quite a bit the night before. Now THAT is impressive!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Awkward Question #1
Answering the question "how long have you two been dating" when you're in front of each other has always been awkward for me. Especially when you've just begun 'dating' and you haven't really defined the relationship (this always happens to me).
Sitting on the couch with Aunt, Uncle, and newly appointed boyfriend (Sam). Sipping on cocktails having a great conversation when it turns to the dreaded question.
"So," my aunt turns to me, "how long have you two been dating?" Sam shoots me a grin across the room and I reply "Um... I'll let him answer that??"
His reply: "6 months." Firm and steady. Straight out of his mouth.
Sometimes men amaze me.
I hadn't even counted (isn't that a girl thing?), nor did I know when we officially started "dating" and definitely didn't want to blurt out the wrong answer.
Since he doesn't live here (Quite a long story that can be filled in at a later time) and we'd 'lost touch' for about a month or so in that 6 months, I didn't even know where to begin.
He's a good catch. ;)
Sitting on the couch with Aunt, Uncle, and newly appointed boyfriend (Sam). Sipping on cocktails having a great conversation when it turns to the dreaded question.
"So," my aunt turns to me, "how long have you two been dating?" Sam shoots me a grin across the room and I reply "Um... I'll let him answer that??"
His reply: "6 months." Firm and steady. Straight out of his mouth.
Sometimes men amaze me.
I hadn't even counted (isn't that a girl thing?), nor did I know when we officially started "dating" and definitely didn't want to blurt out the wrong answer.
Since he doesn't live here (Quite a long story that can be filled in at a later time) and we'd 'lost touch' for about a month or so in that 6 months, I didn't even know where to begin.
He's a good catch. ;)
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